Netflix's queer reality stars share dating DOs and DONTs

In celebration of The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 2, Netflix’s LGBTQ+ celebs share wisdom on winning (and losing) in love games

LEXI GOLDBERG
The Ultimatum: Queer Love season 1

LEXI GOLDBERG@ICYPHOTOGIRL

Tell us a story about your most romantic queer date.

My most romantic queer date was definitely when my fiancée surprised me for dinner on my birthday with this queer off-Broadway show in Bushwick. It was the most spectacular show I’ve ever seen. It was called Nutcracker Rouge, and I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time. It was one of those moments where you just feel like your partner truly knows you because they know what really makes you happy. And true understanding of the person you love is the most romantic gesture in the world for me.

Tell us a story about your most disastrous queer date.

This one time, I tried to take [my partner] Zanc to this fancy dinner for our anniversary. The reviews were fantastic, but from the moment the first dish came out, I knew we were in for an awful date night. Zanc barely ate a single item from the menu, and I was so embarrassed about picking a restaurant she barely ate at for our anniversary. Had to go and get her pizza after because there was no saving that meal.

What’s the worst piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

I have definitely received a ton of bad dating advice over the years. I think the worst is truly playing the game! We always think we have to play games with people and that somehow it’ll make them more interested in us or we’ll seem less available. I’ve been told to wait a couple days to respond to a text — and a couple days in lesbian time is like a whole year! By the time I actually sent a text back, she was far moved on to the next girl and probably already saying, “I love you.”

What’s the best piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever gotten is going to sound so corny, but truly just be yourself and don’t overthink it. Oh, and if there’s flags, run! The truth is that we have to be ourselves or else we are creating false connections. We want someone to love us for us, and they have to know the real us for that to happen. My best relationships have always been built on honesty. The worst ones, also, have been built on me trying to be what someone wanted me to be or ignoring those damn flags. @lexicgoldberg

JORDAN HURT
Owning Manhattan season 1

JORDAN HURTLIZA PRIGOZHINA

Tell us a story about your most romantic queer date.

We met up on a summer day and rode our bikes to the beach. After an afternoon of sun and swimming, we watched the sunset and then went to an amazing Italian restaurant for dinner. We ended up at an impromptu metal concert and kissed on the outskirts of the mosh pit. We ended the night walking aimlessly through the city talking about our goals, dreams, and what we wanted out of life. (This actually hasn’t happened yet, but I am waiting for it!)

Tell us a story about your most disastrous queer date.

I met a guy who was visiting NYC for the weekend from another city. We immediately developed a very intense connection and stayed in constant communication, growing closer for a few weeks until I went to visit him in his hometown. The moment I got there, things were weird. This was not the same person I met a few weeks prior. Something felt off. Eventually, we ended the night at his house, and he trauma-dumped on me and cried about his ex, who left him extremely damaged. Come to find out, they were still legally married. So every time he referred to him, it was as his husband, which was the last thing I wanted to hear. He was very clearly emotionally unavailable, I was confused why I was even there, and needless to say, I left and discontinued the relationship.

What’s the worst piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

“You’ll find it when you least expect it.” This is some “Live, Laugh, Love” bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. People say this as filler to soften the blow when you’re single and alone. At the very least, you have to put out the energy to receive love. It doesn’t just obliviously fall into your lap like in some ’90s rom-com.

What’s the best piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

If you have to guess how someone feels about you, you already know. Love doesn’t leave you confused. If you’re constantly analyzing, replaying moments, or trying to decode someone’s behavior, there’s your answer. Someone who truly wants you will never leave you wondering. They’ll make it known. Never accept breadcrumbs! @jordvnhurt

CHLOE VEITCH
Sneaky Links: Dating After Dark (host), Perfect Match season 1, The Circle season 2, Too Hot to Handle season 1

CHLOE VEITCHCOURTESY NETFLIX

Tell us a story about your most romantic queer date.

I’ve actually never been on a romantic date with a woman, which is a little sad, but I feel like any date with a woman would naturally feel romantic. Women are so in tune with their feminine side; it just exudes romance. If I were to go on a romantic date, it would be in a flower field, eating cheese and grapes, listening to music, cuddling, and talking until the sun goes down.

Tell us a story about your most disastrous queer date.

The truth is, I often get too scared to fully step into my bisexuality and ask women out on dates. I’ve been so used to dating men that the idea of taking a woman on a date feels intimidating. Maybe what I need is more of an alpha female — someone who’s confident enough to take the lead!

What’s the worst piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

“Play hard to get.” Babe, no. If I like someone, I’m not going to sit there pretending I don’t. I’m passionate, I’m fiery, I’ll gas you up and bring all the energy. Why would I dim my light just to seem mysterious? That’s not me. My personality is basically Syd the Sloth. I couldn’t hide it if I tried, ha ha. I’m either all in or I’m out.

What’s the best piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

“If they make you feel confused, it’s a no.” Simple but powerful. I used to overthink everything. “Do they like me? Am I too much?” Now, if I feel unsettled or unsure, I don’t chase clarity; I choose peace. Dating should feel fun, safe, and exciting, not like I’m solving a murder mystery. You’re a queen, so act like it! @chloeveitchofficial

LORENZO NOBILIO
Battle Camp season 1

LORENZO NOBILIO@LINDAMADETHIS

Tell us a story about your most romantic queer date.

He showed up with a single rose, which already felt intentional! I’m a sucker for small, meaningful gestures over grand ones. We barhopped, laughed, flirted, and by the end of the night, I broke my own rule and went back to his — not for the hookup but for the moment. He played me a song he wrote on his guitar, and he was so talented I just melted; no one had ever done something so pure for me. It’s one of those nights I’ll probably remember forever.

Tell us a story about your most disastrous queer date.

He talked a big game about his car collection, so I said, “OK, then pick me up.” After some back-and-forth (and a wild suggestion we take the bus), he finally arrived — zero plan, no direction, and dragged me through [the posh London neighborhood of] Mayfair in negative five degrees, as if that counted as a date. Finally, at dinner, he whispered so quietly I couldn’t hear a word, then got annoyed I wasn’t responding … while I was cracking jokes with the waiters, and he acted like I was committing a felony. I left early, claiming it was my best friend’s birthday, which, in a way, was true, because I definitely celebrated once I got away.

What’s the worst piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

My best friend loves to say, “Just give it a chance,” even when the vibe isn’t vibing. I’ve learned that if there’s no spark, there’s nothing to build on. You don’t need five dates to confirm what your gut knew in five minutes. Let’s not confuse wasting time with being open-minded.

What’s the best piece of dating advice you’ve ever received?

Love and compatibility aren’t the same. Sometimes the connection is electric, but so is a fence. The right person shows up at the right time; anything else is just a lesson. I’m too grown for trauma bonding; I look for peace. That’s the real love story. @only.lorenzo

MAL WRIGHT
THE ULTIMATUM: QUEER LOVE season 1

MAL WRIGHTCOURTESY NETFLIX

Tell us a story about your most romantic queer date.

I've never been one to be impressed by extravagance or really expensive things. Custom gifts freak me out a bit too so my most romantic I can remember was riding electric scooters up and down Atlanta's Beltline on the most perfect day. It was impromptu, easy and we chatted about everything under the sun and really channeled our inner children. I recall laughing so much and interacting with strangers along the way. It was perfect.

Tell us a story about your most disastrous queer date.

I had met a new girl in a new town. She owned a coffee shop and invited me over after it closed to connect over wine and life. Upon leaving I went in for a thank you hug, and she laid the most unsolicited bizarre kiss on me. I turned my face, pushed back a little and she landed right in the corner of my mouth. She apologized. I scurried away, and we never spoke again.

What's the worst piece of dating advice you've ever received?

My dad advised me to stay with a girl simply because we moved across the country together. He advised that I stay through all the dysfunction because "you don't just leave when things get tough!" he would say. He had little clue how bad things were. @igobymal

What's the best piece of dating advice you've ever received?

My dad advised me to leave that same girl, strongly urging against us considering marriage. [laughs] Tables always turn!

This article is part of Out's July/Aug 2025 issue, which hits newsstands July 1. Support queer media and subscribe — or download the issue now through Apple News, Zinio, Nook, or PressReader.