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Three men wearing sunglasses chat outdoors on a sunny day, each holding a green glass beer bottle.
Opinion

Go Ask Alex: I envy masculine gay men. How do I become one?

Columnist Alexander Cheves gives advice to a reader who struggles with feeling "insufficiently gay."

​Two adults engage in a fist bump.
Sex & Relationships

Go Ask Alex: Whatever happened to fisting classes?

Columnist Alexander Cheves addresses a reader's concerns that, as fisting's popularity grows, real-world mentorship opportunities on safety and community have dwindled.

Two men smiling and talking over beers while seated at a bar.
Opinion

Go Ask Alex: How do I spot a gay manipulator before I get hurt again?

A reader wants to know how to recognize manipulation before getting burned again. Alexander Cheves explains why the answer isn’t becoming less trusting — it’s knowing when to walk away.

A man kisses another man wearing a leather pup hood during a BDSM performance at Folsom Street Fair.
Events

30 DOs and DON'Ts for Folsom Street Fair 2026

Before entering fetish heaven, here are 30 tips for navigating the Folsom Street Fair, including advice on consent, etiquette, what to bring, and how to make the most of the weekend.

One person kisses another on the cheek as they look off to the side.
Sex & Relationships

Go Ask Alex: Am I aromantic, or just not into intimacy?

Columnist Alexander Cheves responds to a reader wondering whether their aversion to romance is an identity, a response to past trauma, or something else — and how to be honest with sexual partners.

A younger man smiles with his arm around an older man with gray hair and glasses.
Opinion

Go Ask Alex: How do gay millennials plan for old age without a blueprint?

With so many queer elders lost to AIDS, a generation of gay men is facing a lot of unknowns about growing older. Advice columnist Alexander Cheves looks to chosen family and community for answers.

Hank Social cofounders Eido Gat and Ido Barbibay
Print Issue

Know the data dangers of using a gay dating app

As Big Tech mines big returns on queer dating data, many are raising a red flag on privacy concerns and starting alternative ways to connect.

A shirtless man wearing sunglasses smiles while looking at his phone outdoors.
Sex & Relationships

Go Ask Alex: How do I show kink on my dating profile without scaring people off?

Columnist Alexander Cheves explains to a kinky gay man why one dating profile may not need to show every side of you.