The following Q&A is part of Out’s Dating PrEP Season 4, where prominent LGBTQ+ figures share dating tips and insights for finding self-love and romance. Watch the full series on Out.com/DatingPrEP.
Briel Adams-Wheatley is a presence — the kind that lingers in a room like extrait de parfum or the last note of a favorite song.
Born with Hanhart syndrome — a rare congenital disorder marked by a combination of physical differences present at birth — she was born in Brazil and then adopted into the sun-drenched stillness of Utah at 9 months old. From the start, it seemed she was destined to be anything but ordinary.
A vision in lashes and candor, Adams-Wheatley doesn’t just paint her face — she paints the internet in strokes of defiance and glamour. With nearly 5 million TikTok admirers watching her blend blush with bravery, she’s not merely influencing — she’s reimagining what beauty can be. She’s danced through White House Pride celebrations, turned heads in the front row at Fashion Week, and now, she’s glided onto screens in Season 4 of Dating PrEP.
Darling, she isn’t a whisper in the wind — she’s the whole storm in lip gloss. And in the following Q&A, she lets us into her glittering, unfiltered heart — sharing iconic date stories, navigating dating apps, handling fetishization, and how one good coffee shop date led to nearly four blissful years of marriage with her husband, Adam.
OUT: How did you typically meet people to date?
Briel Adams-Wheatley: I was on Grindr, Tinder, Hot or Not, Bumble, Facebook Dating — your girl did it all.
When you were dating, how did you read online social cues?
Honestly, in the early days, I missed a lot of red flags. I wanted love and attention so badly I ignored them. Looking back, I’d say: make sure you have a clear head going into dating and know what you want.
Any tips on how to start online conversations?
For me, having a physical disability, I felt being very open and honest from the beginning was important — not just for my protection, but also to make sure the other person was comfortable moving forward.
What about tips on building confidence to be one’s authentic self when dating?
Putting yourself out there takes confidence from the start, so you’ve got to give yourself props for that. Know what you want and be sure you’re going to get it — and don’t put up with any bull along the way.
You once shared that your adoptive mom encouraged you to name things you love about yourself. How did that shape your confidence?
She really instilled in me that being different was OK — and beautiful. It took time and effort to accept that, especially in junior high. People love and hate what’s different, and that’s hard. But you’ve got to put in the work to love yourself. No one else can do that for you.
What are your self-care rituals before a date?
My go-to is doing my makeup, prepping myself mentally, emotionally, and physically, and telling myself, “You got this.” If something comes out of it, great. If not, move on to the next.
How does makeup influence your confidence and dating life?
Makeup’s been huge for me. I think of all of us as blank canvases, and makeup is how we paint ourselves — whether with bold strokes or a soft touch. You’re the one holding the brush. You get to decide how you present yourself to the world.
What advice do you have for people who fear rejection?
You’ve got to be yourself — always. And ask yourself: “Is this really me?” I know when I first started dating during my transition, I looked back and thought, “That wasn’t me.” Who I am now is exactly who I wanted to be back then. It takes time to get there, and you can’t worry about being cringe.
Speaking of cringe... any memorable, cringe date stories?
Oh, my most cringe date was with a guy who thought he was the best singer ever. He picked me up, told me about his music career, and dropped a few bars — I don’t know if I’d ever want to hear him again. Then he wanted to go back to my place and watch The Little Mermaid. He started singing “Under the Sea,” and I wanted out of that sea real quick.
And your most iconic date?
Definitely with my husband. I had dated a lot of guys who were into me for the wrong reasons — some just wanted attention or had a fetish about someone without arms or legs. Some people have weird fetishes when it comes to bodies that are different.
But my husband was different. We met on Tinder — I swiped first, even though he claims he did — and he suggested a coffee date. At the coffee shop, they had board games, and without me saying a word, he asked for a cup to hold the dice and something to hold the cards. He thought of my needs before I did.
That night ended with dinner at my place, The Kardashians, and him staying until 2 a.m. We saw each other every day for two weeks after that. I even tried to take a break because I wasn’t used to that kind of affection, but my sister-in-law was like, “Are you stupid?” We’ve been inseparable ever since.
What would you say to someone who’s stuck in a mindset of “I’m not good enough for this” or “I don’t deserve this person”?
Even with my husband, I tried to sabotage things because I wasn’t used to healthy love. Sometimes it takes hearing it from someone else — someone who’s seen what you’ve been through — to remind you what you deserve.
What advice would you give queer folks on taking care of their sexual health when dating?
Know your status, know your partner’s status, and know your boundaries. Be OK with saying no if something feels off — and respect when someone else says no, too.
Any last words for queer folks who feel love is harder to find these days?
Love yourself first. RuPaul says it all the time — if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
