Mad Tsai Spills on Love Life and Bisexuality

The following interview is part of Out's Dating PrEP series, in which notable experts from various fields offer advice on how to prepare for date. Watch the full series on Out.com.

Mad Tsai, singer-songwriter of the breakthrough 2020 single “boy bi,” understands how hard it is trying to date while queer when in college.

“You’re probably like 18-21 and trying to figure out how to be an adult, and also everybody else is trying to figure it out at the same time. So, you go into these relationships and you really don’t know what you’re expecting or what you want,” he explains.

Tsai understands this from his own experiences dating while out as bisexual in high school and college. “I remember in high school I dated a straight girl and that was a very different experience because she just perceived me as gay. I felt even though I explained to her, she still put me in the friend zone because of my sexuality,” Tsai shares. Conforming to those expectations around his bisexuality also relates to how he deals with gender norms and the box one can easily put themselves in when conforming.

“There’s this pressure to be the perfect balance of feminine and masculine, and I hate being confined to one or the other because I like presenting as both. How you present yourself does not say anything about your sexuality and your sexuality shouldn’t dictate how you present yourself,” Tsai says.

And Tsai has some advice on dating while going to college, which is taking good care of yourself. “I definitely think taking care of your body is the most important thing. Being on PrEP and making sure you have all the materials to be safe is a must,” Tsai says before sharing. “And I like doing a face mask. I feel like that’s my kind of self care.”

Finally, when going on a date, it’s important to give the other person a chance to speak. Although it makes for a funny story, not sharing airtime is a surefire way to not get asked on a second date.

“This guy would not stop talking about himself!” Tsai laughs, “I didn’t get a single word in, he just talked the entire time about himself and his life story, and I kind of felt like he was just venting to me,” he says before joking. “So, I was like, ‘Hey, I have homework to do, I have to… I’ve gotta go.’”