Is a chastity cage for you? Experts explain the kinky Locktober practice

What is a male chastity cage?

A male chastity cage is a wearable device that puts a literal cage or covering, usually made out of metal or silicone, around the penis and can be locked closed with a key.

“It's a toy that covers a non-erect penis and locks on; it's generally like a locking cock ring with a cage attached,” Good Vibes Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen tells Out. “Some varieties make it hard or uncomfortable for the person wearing it to get an erection. Think of a chastity belt variant for a penis.”

A chastity cage usually fits around the base of the penis and behind the testicles, and covers the shaft from root to tip in order to prevent “someone from directly accessing their penis for sexual pleasure,” says Topher Cusumano, a sex and sexual health writer who produces shows about queer sex and kink as the cofounder of Daddy TV.

“Traditionally, chastity has been a popular part of BDSM dynamics, where a dom acts as the ‘keyholder,’ controlling when their submissive partner gets access to their penis,” Cusumano explains. “But recently more and more people explore chastity outside of partnered BDSM, using it as a form of self-discipline, submission, or personal growth.”

Male chastity cages are a fairly modern fetish device, but the idea is based on “real patents filed during the bizarre age of puritan moral panic over teenage boys masturbating,” in the 19th and early 20th century, says Harrison Denbighy, a bisexual professional maledom who frequently uses chastity cages on his subs.

“They began to design all manner of impractical devices to stop young men from enjoying their bodies, to match those which already existed for girls,” Denbighy says. “As with many kinks, the modern chastity fetish is, in some sense, an erotic parody of an historic form of torture from some weird and disturbing chapter of conservative moral panic over young people and their burgeoning sexuality.”

What is Locktober?

Locktober is an annual month-long celebration that challenges participants to explore chastity throughout October. People use is as an opportunity to try out chastity cages for the first time, try to stay locked in a device for as long as possible, and play with orgasm denial and control for pleasure or personal growth (or both!). You’ll notice Locktober pop up both in real life — in the bedroom and at sex parties — and in online spaces where people share photos and their own experiences and cheer each other on.

“There's something really hot about how public and private submission can intersect,” Cusumano says. “I think Locktober gives people an opportunity to explore that dynamic in a digital space. For some queers, having an audience is part of the submission. I mean, if a cock gets caged in the woods, does it even make a sound? I think that's the saying…”

According to Queen, you can think of Locktober as being “like Dry January for erections,” because it “challenges participants to stay in a cock cage for the whole month.”

Male chastity devices are also often part of a dom/sub BDSM dynamic, and Locktober can be an opportunity to explore that power exchange in more depth or finally give it a try if you’ve been fantasizing about it all year, but haven’t had the discipline to get started.

“Since Locktober is a very communal event with a strong social media component, it's also easier to keep yourself on track by sharing in your struggle with other locked subs,” says Denbighy. “As a dom, I won't be locking myself away, of course. But there are a few good boys whom I will be keeping a close eye on this month.”

Why do people like using male chastity cages?

“Orgasm denial in this sense can help people focus erotically or romantically in other ways,” Queen says. “It can empower a partner and shift balance of power in a relationship, it is a hot fantasy and sometimes, reality, it can feel like giving oneself and one's sexuality to a beloved or to a dominant. Not everyone desires these things, of course, but some really love this kind of play.”

Orgasm denial is a big factor in people’s love of cock cages, but Harrison says there are a lot of other reasons people come to him as a professional dominant and ask him to lock them up. “There are also elements of other fetishes, such as small penis humiliation and exhibitionism,” he says. “Some men who are concerned about their size, or about ED, derive a kind of comfort from being locked away; it relieves them of the intense pressure so many guys feel to get a big, throbbing erection.”

Denbighy says that some chastity subs like posting pictures because “the idea of people seeing their penis locked away like that is very erotic for them.” It can also be about playing with gender and masculine and feminine dynamics.

“There's also an element of gender play — femboys tend to like chastity play — and a masculine alpha/beta dynamic,” he says. “If my cock is free to roam and to fuck, while yours is locked away in a tight little cage, it serves as a constant reminder of our respective stations. Although not all chastity play features sex, the cage can really help someone get into a good bottoming headspace: denied all access to your cock, you can be fully focused on your role as a fucktoy for your partner.”

For Cusumano, the BDSM “power dynamic and sense of control can be so hot,” but there is also a level of intimacy and gentleness involved in carefully locking someone up “without catching any hair or skin” that he really loves.

“And I think those moments of softness within a kink scene can make the heavier physical and emotional elements that follow feel even more powerful,” he says. “It’s a beautiful way for a dom and sub to ease into their respective headspaces and then stay in them for a set amount of time. The cage itself becomes a physical symbol of holding the headspace.”

Are male chastity cages popular in the LGBTQ+ community?

There is no hard data on whether queer people use chastity cages more than straight people, but anecdotally both Cusumano and Denbighy have a rise in popularity among LGBTQ+ people in recent years.

Cusumano thinks it has to do with queer people being more likely to explore sexuality through digital spaces, and how hot cock cages look when someone is wearing one. “They’re photogenic as far as sex toys are concerned,” he says. “So I think as more digital creators started wearing them in their content, they became more popular.”

In his pro dom community, Denbighy has been told male chastity devices are increasingly popular among straight men, but he thinks queer people are still more likely to embrace them. “Since gay men have a longstanding culture of tops and bottoms, the cages can act as a way of intensifying one's role as a bottom,” he says. “I have also known a few people for whom chastity play was something they played around with as a precursor to, or as part of, their gender transition.”

Queen also says the beauty of this kink is that really anyone can join in regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, either as the one locked up or as a key holder. And the kink has become more inclusive as the options for chastity cages have expanded. “They are designed for genitals that are shaped differently around, for example, size — including ones that accommodate growth when a person is on testosterone — and shape,” says Queen, who also notes there are now even devices that can accommodate the clit and vulva so they can work for nonbinary and transmasculine folks and trans men who aren’t taking testosterone.

How can you use a male chastity device safely?

Chastity cages can be fun and sexy, but they can also be dangerous if not used correctly. Cusumano recommends going to a sex shop or pleasure store in person to find one that fits you properly. “You'll want to measure around the base of your penis and behind your testicles for the base ring, as well as the length and width of your shaft to figure out the best size,” he says. “I also usually suggest trimming your pubic hair beforehand. Most cages have a base ring that sits behind the testicles, and trust me, getting a bunch of hair caught or pulled in there is not the kind of discomfort we're looking for.”

Paying attention to any discomfort is key to making sure you don’t damage your penis. “There's a difference between the pleasurable frustration of being in chastity and real physical distress,” Cusumano says. “If you're experiencing pain, numbness, swelling, difficulty peeing, take the cage off immediately. If it won't come off, that's a medical emergency. The goal is to restrict access to pleasure, not blood flow!”

If you’re new to male chastity cages, Denbighy says don’t try to go for a marathon session right out of the gate. Try wearing it for short periods of time at first to make sure there aren’t any problems before building up to more prolonged periods of time in the cage. For Denbighy, picking the correct-sized cage is about safety and sexiness too. “I love whichever type of device fits my sub comfortably and brings them into the correct, submissive headspace,” he says. “Whatever makes them feel as humiliated and chastened as possible is what I find sexiest. But I do have a personal preference for metal devices; they are wonderfully clinical and hygienic, which fits the fetish both in terms of vibe and practicality.”

Once you start wearing a cock cage for longer and longer periods of time, you will still need to take it off to wash and thoroughly dry both the device and your penis before putting it back on to avoid irritation or infection. You should also keep the key nearby in case you need to remove it quickly in case of emergency.

Cusumano also says that having a keyholder, especially if it’s part of a 24/7 BDSM dynamic, means that “you're potentially inviting someone to have a meaningful influence over your literal bodily autonomy,” so you’ll want to negotiate everything ahead of time. “A good 24/7 keyholder is also, in many ways, a daily accountability partner,” he says. “Someone you trust to understand your goals, patterns of behavior, turn-ons, boundaries, and all the ways you want to be teased, played with, and used.”

But it’s not just your physical wellbeing you should be worried about; your mental health is important too. Queen says that if you’re using a chastity cage solo, be wary if your motivation is connected to feelings of shame around masturbation because it “doesn't bode well for one's sexual health.” And if you’re incorporating chastity cages into partnered sex or a BDSM dynamic where the key holder “determines when the cage comes off and what happens,” make sure you talk about everything before the fun starts. “This must be negotiated! Negotiate a safeword too.”

And if tough emotions come up while you're engaging in chastity play, it can be helpful to get help. “If issues around emotions/the relationship come up during chastity play, find someone who knows this world to help resolve them,” she says. "Kink-Aware Professionals is a good place to seek a therapist (or MD) who can come to the play, and the people doing it, without judgement. Always check with a professional to make sure your orientation and playstyle is something they are informed about and can help with — rather than misunderstanding and freaking out.”

How do the kink experts use chastity cages?

Cusumano, a switch who likes to dominate and submit depending on his mood and the partner he’s with, loves chastity play for two main reasons: the aesthetics of cock cages, which “come in so many designs and colors,” and being able to play with the “pleasurable frustration that comes from a submissive partner getting really turned on while they're still in chastity.”

One of Cusumano’s favorite memories of celebrating Locktober was the time he went to a sex party in Brooklyn with his partner at the time, who had decided to spend the month locked up to help him with personal growth. “He was chronically unemployed (we can unpack my taste in men later — talk about masochism!), so for both of us, this felt like an opportunity to use kink as a tool for personal development,” he says.

When they got to the party, Cusumano removed his clothes and started flirting with other men, but his partner “wasn't allowed to touch himself or participate sexually” and had to explain to anyone who approached him that he could only watch because he was in chastity. “For him, having to acknowledge his submission out loud, in front of other people, was part of the fantasy and so fucking hot,” he says. “He wasn't just watching me enjoy myself. He was getting to experience the frustration, vulnerability, and public acknowledgment of our shared dynamic.”

Cusumano realized that the contrast “between my sexual freedom and his ‘forced’ (consensual) restriction” was a turn-on, and they both got more excited as the tension grew between them throughout the night.

“I think that's something people sometimes misunderstand about chastity,” he says. “The person who's locked up isn't necessarily missing out on all pleasure. It's the opposite sometimes. The restraint, the anticipation, and the surrender of control is the pleasure.”

As a maledom, Denbighy has been using chastity cages on his submissive more and more over the course of the last ten years as the fetish has exploded in popularity. "I love adding a chastity element to an existing BDSM scene,” he says. “The prospect of being allowed release if the submissive is a good boy — which remains but a prospect in most cases — really adds to the sexual tension, the deep sense of submission and the relinquishment of control.”

Both Cusumano and Denbighy say that while orgasm denial is part of the appeal of cock cages, it can also be fun to experiment with using a vibrator on someone’s shaft while it’s locked away.

Cusumano says he loves to use the Le Wand, starting on a low setting and holding it against the base of the cage before gradually increasing the intensity. “The vibrations can travel through the cage, and the whole thing makes this bbbbzzzzzzzzzz feeling — I don't know how science works,” he says. “And even with the restriction, some people find they can cum hands-free.”

Denbighy, on the other hand, is a big fan of Hitachi Magic Wand. “I have a lot of fun using a Hitachi wand on the surface of a sub's cage, teasing him, watching him writhe and moan as his frustrated member thrums against the walls of its prison,” Denbighy says. “Unless I am keeping a sub from orgasm outside the session, I will usually try to get them to cum in this fashion. I absolutely love to watch a sub ejaculate through his cage.”

He continues, “I also love when a submissive drips precum through his cage as I fuck him; knowing that my cock pressing against his prostate, slowly milking his pent-up fluids, is the only release he'll get, is a big turn-on.”