Chastity is one of the trendiest fetishes or kinks for gay men at the moment. It is a practice that, when used in a device-driven format, centers on submission and dabbles in body modification through orgasm-denial. And while some practitioners use chastity cages only in connection with sex, wearing them for only hours at a time, for some it is a lifestyle. Here, in an as-told-to, SelfAuthoredSub describes the interesting, and sometimes comical, conversations that arise from wearing a cage on your dick in day-to-day life.
*SelfAuthoredSub is an anonymous submissive, based in Philadelphia who prefers the lowercase I as the ultimate sign of submission. The links and embeds in this story might be NSFW.*
When i first got into chastity, it was through someone who was my dom. i met him online in 2010, and it took about four or five months from when he first brought it up for me to try it out. In that time, i was watching a lot of homemade videos on Xtube and looking at a lot of photos.
There were two types of images that were really powerful for me. One was seeing boys wear chastity in their natural state, so underneath jeans or to work. It made me understand this wasn’t only a sex toy. It was a way of life. And the other part was men being fucked in chastity.
The longest i’ve gone so far has been 430 days. At a certain point, i just forgot that the cage was there; it is just normalized. When i’m going to the bathroom, i go to the stall and sit down. Because of the cage, i’m hyper aware of whether there’s any drippage or if anything gets on my pants. It’s really a part of the way i live and think about myself.
The cage doesn’t really affect what i wear. i’m usually wearing a jockstrap or a thong so that, plus the pants, usually smooths what it looks like from the outside.
With the apps, at first i would always tell people as a bit of a cautionary note, which felt weird in hindsight. i was just afraid that the person wouldn’t want to hook up with me because i told them i was wearing this, but that was better than them finding out in person and not being into it. i was very cautious, but over time i’ve gotten more comfortable making my kink and submissive personality clear.
i’ve had a few “what is that” moments and not everyone is into it. The worst is when the person does want to jack me off or play with my penis, and they have planned to do that. Then people ask if i can take it off, and no… i can’t. Well, i can, but i don’t want to.
i’ve never felt like i’ve been looked down on or judged, but people do say they aren’t into it. This is especially true at a bathhouse. There’s been so many times where i’m at a bathhouse, where i’m getting fucked and someone tries to suck me. i try to guide them away and they keep at it. They end up with a mouthful of plastic.
i usually wear the Holy Trainer small, which i’ve found to be very discreet. Even with that, though, i’ve had people check me out at the gym because they think i have a really big dick print. So then they come over and start doing the small talk thing. i notice they are checking out the crotch area and not my ass, so i usually find the easiest way to just say i’m not interested.
My last two owners have been encouraging me to normalize chastity in areas where men would be normally undressing. So in the locker room, i’ve been getting over the shame of going to the biggest corner to undress. i still don’t use urinals unless it’s really a major emergency, but it’s also about going to a jacuzzi or a spa.
i do try to protect myself. As much as i would like to live in my full self, i know that’s not the world we live in. If there are signs that would make me feel uncomfortable, like someone doesn’t just look, but they look and scowl or try to find an employee, i know to remove myself from the situation.
The device i wear is plastic so it’s not usually registered by TSA or body scanners when i’m going through airports. For whatever reason, a few weeks ago it was recognized. At the time i also had a metal butt plug in my bag which rang up as well, but thankfully it was two different people who handled those things. They took me to the back room, and there were two TSA employees there and basically they were like, well what is it. So i said it’s a device i wear for my partner. So they wanted to know if it was metal.
i explained that it was plastic and that it was interesting that it rang up because it doesn’t usually. He said it was because their device was really sensitive. So then he asked me a few other questions about it. They weren’t very personal questions but he asked if i could take it off. And i said no, i didn’t keep the key with me. And then he asked a few other things. Then, at the end, he sort of did the residue test on the outside of my pants and it came back negative. For the last thing, he asked could i pull your pants down so they could see the device. i thought it was weird because the test had already come back negative but i did it and after he shook my hand and thanked me. He had this funny smile on his face and he sent me on my merry way to my flight.