Entertainment
CONTACTAbout UsCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2025 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Scroll To Top
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
2005 blows my mind. In 1995, my life expectancy was supposedly about two years and I was unreasonable enough to make a five-year plan. Then, one day in the fall of that year, everything changed: I began taking the cocktail. I had won a lottery. Fast forward to 2005: I have a t-cell count of 895. I am healthy, and I just received an e-mail from the man I am dating saying: You are loved
Why is this a big deal? Because, I forget: Not that he cares about me, but that I can sit in the surety of what I accurately know: I am fine.
If I had died 10 years ago, I wouldnt have that knowledge in my heart and gut. It is wonderful to be alive in 2005. I have had an entire decade of grace, and I have been working it.
Recently, I returned from three weeks in Brazila week traveling with my Brazilian ex to Recife and Olinda in the Northeast, and then two weeks with my American beau in Rio, Parati, and in a magical house built out on the rocks above a cove in Sao Paulo State. Each day was an adventurein travel and in connectingculturally, emotionally, and sexually.
When I was 19 I traveled to the Thousand Islands in Canada and made a vow to myself that I would travel abroad every year of my lifeand I have (except for 1992, but Im going to let Hawaii substitute). Going abroad is not what its about; its about not wanting to miss my lifeto never stop exploring frontiers. Getting on a plane has become routine, but never dull. I have never been complacent, but 20 years living with HIV has upped the ante: Complacency could mean never being fully alive, that the illusion that I could begin to really live in 5 or 10 years became absurd.
I want to savor life and to feel my senses aroused. My goal was to have an interesting life and I have succeeded by being interested in life. So, back to the man in my life. Hes HIV-. Which seems not to be a big issue for us, but I wonder if it plays into my fear of abandonment. Will he get scared (why shouldnt he be afraid?) and leave? He probably wont pull out because of HIV. It would be more likely to happen because I forget what I knowthat I am fine with him and without him.
Living on with HIV means dealing with all of it: The thrill and glamour of traveling the globe, the intriguing and gritty challenges of love and relationship, the losses that come with time.
What a privilege it all is.
Watch Now: Pride Today
Latest Stories
'Superman' actors who played queer characters in movies and TV shows
July 11 2025 8:11 PM
New Music Friday: Ariana Grande remixes Frankie, Vincint drops dance floor banger
July 11 2025 6:01 PM
Tyler Perry's sexual assault suit: Everything to know
July 11 2025 4:14 PM
The Traitors star Parvati gets in drag as Boston Rob to lip-sync 'Shallow'
July 11 2025 4:12 PM
Meet the uninhibited men of Elska Mexico City
July 11 2025 2:09 PM
No, Trump is not 'Daddy': a queer explainer
July 11 2025 1:58 PM
18 sexy 'Love Island' contestants who came out as LGBTQ+
July 11 2025 12:35 PM
Who is Becca Tilley? All about Hayley Kiyoko's new fiancée
July 11 2025 12:35 PM
Is JoJo Siwa pregnant? Here's how she addressed the rumors
July 11 2025 12:29 PM
Here's every Talent Show winner in 'RuPaul's Drag Race' herstory
July 11 2025 11:25 AM
Watch: 'Before We Forget' clip proves gay love isn't lost in translation
July 11 2025 8:30 AM
Drag Race All Stars 10: These queens will lip sync for the crown at the finale
July 11 2025 5:40 AM