Entertainment
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Scroll To Top
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
2005 blows my mind. In 1995, my life expectancy was supposedly about two years and I was unreasonable enough to make a five-year plan. Then, one day in the fall of that year, everything changed: I began taking the cocktail. I had won a lottery. Fast forward to 2005: I have a t-cell count of 895. I am healthy, and I just received an e-mail from the man I am dating saying: You are loved
Why is this a big deal? Because, I forget: Not that he cares about me, but that I can sit in the surety of what I accurately know: I am fine.
If I had died 10 years ago, I wouldnt have that knowledge in my heart and gut. It is wonderful to be alive in 2005. I have had an entire decade of grace, and I have been working it.
Recently, I returned from three weeks in Brazila week traveling with my Brazilian ex to Recife and Olinda in the Northeast, and then two weeks with my American beau in Rio, Parati, and in a magical house built out on the rocks above a cove in Sao Paulo State. Each day was an adventurein travel and in connectingculturally, emotionally, and sexually.
When I was 19 I traveled to the Thousand Islands in Canada and made a vow to myself that I would travel abroad every year of my lifeand I have (except for 1992, but Im going to let Hawaii substitute). Going abroad is not what its about; its about not wanting to miss my lifeto never stop exploring frontiers. Getting on a plane has become routine, but never dull. I have never been complacent, but 20 years living with HIV has upped the ante: Complacency could mean never being fully alive, that the illusion that I could begin to really live in 5 or 10 years became absurd.
I want to savor life and to feel my senses aroused. My goal was to have an interesting life and I have succeeded by being interested in life. So, back to the man in my life. Hes HIV-. Which seems not to be a big issue for us, but I wonder if it plays into my fear of abandonment. Will he get scared (why shouldnt he be afraid?) and leave? He probably wont pull out because of HIV. It would be more likely to happen because I forget what I knowthat I am fine with him and without him.
Living on with HIV means dealing with all of it: The thrill and glamour of traveling the globe, the intriguing and gritty challenges of love and relationship, the losses that come with time.
What a privilege it all is.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 times male celebrities had to say they weren't gay
April 17 2024 11:57 AM
21 LGBTQ+ reality dating shows & where to watch them
April 03 2024 4:01 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
14 queens who quit or retired from drag after 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
April 04 2024 12:56 PM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Here's who 'Drag Race' fans on social media want to see win season 16
April 17 2024 5:05 PM
Andy Cohen responds to all the recent Bravo & 'Housewives' chaos as more ensues
April 17 2024 3:56 PM
Not just JoJo Siwa: 30 songs made for an artist & released by another
April 17 2024 3:16 PM
How The Pride Store celebrates National Tea Day: A tale of two brews
April 17 2024 2:14 PM
Here's why Netflix's 'Baby Reindeer' is our new twisted queer obsession
April 17 2024 12:17 PM
April 17, 2024
April 17 2024 11:50 AM
Troye Sivan & Charli XCX are teaming up for the gayest tour ever
April 17 2024 11:43 AM
Kennedy Davenport finally explains the rumored 'All Stars 3' drama with Trixie Mattel
April 16 2024 4:16 PM
Watch the queens from 'Drag Race Live' hilariously reveal Out's RuPaul cover
April 16 2024 4:10 PM
Noah Beck claps back at people who assumed he's gay for hugging a male friend
April 16 2024 4:03 PM
Jonathan Bailey's next gig is being lined up & it involves dinosaurs & ScarJo
April 16 2024 2:12 PM
Queens were showing out & shining bright at The Center's fundraising dinner
April 16 2024 1:37 PM