Dating while Asian & femme: Yuhua Hamasaki wants you on PrEP

The following Q&A is part of Out’s Dating PrEP Season 4, where prominent LGBTQ+ figures share dating tips and insights for finding self-love and romance. Watch the full series on Out.com/DatingPrEP.

In a city where labels are designer and identities refuse to be boxed in, Yuhua Hamasaki isn’t just toeing the line — she’s power-strutting over it in six-inch heels and a feathered sweater, daring you to catch up.

Born in Guangzhou, China and raised in New York City, Hamasaki is a one-woman spectacle: drag artist, host, performer, activist, and full-time glamazon. You may recognize her from Season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, but her real magic happens off-camera — onstage, under neon lights, and in front of crowds who come for the sparkle and stay for the substance. Every Friday night, I watch Hamasaki command the mic at the iconic Pieces Bar, turning Manhattan’s nightlife into a masterclass in charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Whether she’s lip-syncing for her life or fighting for visibility as a gender-fluid Asian entertainer, Hamasaki proves that authenticity — messy, loud, glitter-drenched authenticity — is a superpower.

For Out’s Dating PrEP Season 4, I met with Hamasaki to chat about dating apps, chaotic suitors, sexual health, and the radical act of simply being herself. In classic Hamasaki fashion, every answer was unfiltered, unexpected, and — most importantly — unforgettable.

OUT: Single or taken?

Yuhua Hamasaki: Very single and ready to mingle.

How would you describe your love life using a movie title?

My love life? Non-existent. Is that a movie?

If it is, I’ve never seen it.

Okay, a real movie, let me think — Bring It On. Bring it on! I'm ready.

Where do you meet people for dates?

Like most, I meet people on dating apps. Before that, it was on the websites; and then before that, it was at the bars.

What is an ideal date for you?

You come over… I hate traveling, so you come over. We watch some movies. We talk. We do it. (laughs…) And then there’s compatibility. We talk and hang out afterwards. That’s a perfect date for me.

What are your pronouns?

My pronouns are all over the place — she/her/they/them/he/him — whatever you want. As long as you call me respectfully, I’m okay with it. But most people call me she/her.

What is your gender identity?

All over the place! I think that gender is such a wide spectrum. Sometimes I feel a little more masculine, sometimes a little more feminine, but overall I do lean more towards the fem side.

What is your sexual orientation?

All over the place too! I feel like I’m leaning towards someone more masculine or male-identifying, but I think it’s more about energy. I’m open.

How has your gender fluidity impacted your approach to relationships and dating within the queer community?

It’s hard for me to date within the queer community. Usually, I end up dating or going out with men who are leaning towards bisexual, pansexual, or straight.

Since you meet people online, how do you read online social cues and know when somebody is interested?

I know someone’s interested if they follow up and if they’re communicative — it’s more than just a “hello, how are you” because then it goes nowhere. Social cues include me asking questions and them following up and not ignoring questions.

Let’s say if I’m asking them for more pictures, and then I follow up with another question, like “where do you live?” If they only answer one of the two questions, then that’s when I know I’m not feeling it. You need to be communicative with me!

Tell me a chaotic date story.

It was probably back in 2015. I met this person through another drag entertainer. He waited for me outside the bar I was working at the time. I finished the show. We walked from diner to diner afterwards, but he did not want to go into any diner.

I guess the menu prices were too expensive for him? I don’t judge. I don’t care where we eat. Just go into a place! It could be McDonald's! I'm very simple. Just tell me where! He wasn’t communicative in that aspect, so I didn’t know that it wasn’t within his budget range until afterwards.

We finally walked from diner to diner to diner… all the way from the West Village to almost Midtown West, okay? I was in full drag, with my suitcase, and in heels. We got to the diner, ate, and were ready to pay. But he didn’t have enough money, so he took my tip money to give to the waiter to pay for the food.

And that’s where I was just like: Maybe you should have planned this a little bit better, or communicate with me a little bit better, so that we don’t end up in the same situation again. Again, I’m not judging his financial situation. It’s just more about communicating and being honest with me. That's where I draw the line.

How do you make yourself feel confident before a first date?

I just am, I just be! I don’t think there’s any rituals that I do. I know some people go to the gym, they like to light some candles, get in the mood, or get their makeup done. But I feel like if you can’t accept me for all my flaws, then you can’t accept me for anything else. Because I’m not here to please you. I’m here to be me.

Back in my younger years, people would say to me, “Can you put on some makeup? Can you do your hair this way? Can you wear that?” I’d be like “Okay, fine.”

At the end of the day, I’ve realized that that’s not what makes me happy, because I’m uncomfortable. So I want to do what I want to do at that moment.

What advice would you give to someone who fears rejections?

Just go for it! You never know what you’re missing out on. You never do! That person could be into you for all you know! If it’s a no, then it’s a no. You’re not going to die. Nobody’s gonna die. You’re not gonna get hurt. And what you walk away with is experience — it’s knowing what to do and how to approach the next time.

What advice would you give to queer folks who may feel like love is harder to find these days?

You don’t need to find love because there’s love all around you already! You can find community within your friends, the work that you do, your passion, your hobbies…. There's so much more fulfillment than being in a relationship.

During my generation when I grew up, from watching movies and reading books, it was all about finding a boyfriend, getting married, and having kids. But that’s not the case with everyone, especially with the queer community.

Stop forcing yourself into relationships that don’t work. Allow them to come as they come, and let it be natural. Let things fall into place.

What challenges, if any, have you faced dating as an Asian person in New York?

Oh girl, okay, here we go! You’re Asian, so you can probably relate to this — there’s a whole demographic that likes Asians. For the longest time, those were the people that I ended up dating, because that’s all I know… We [Asians] are being fetishized [by the demographic that is only into Asians]. As I got older, I got more femme, there was a whole other demographic that was into people like me. Nowadays, I just go wherever the flow goes.

You’ve spoken a lot about embracing your Chinese heritage. How has this journey of cultural acceptance influenced your self-love and confidence?

I wasn’t accepted much as a kid growing up in America. Even before in China, I didn’t feel like I was accepted anyway because I was too femme. So it was up to me to glorify all those aspects — whether it was femininity, the drag aspect, the queer aspect, or the Asian part of me, it was up to me to glorify it.

Now, we’re seeing more roles for Asian actors, that seem like they’re the hero, they’re the sexy hot guy, the charming guy that you wanna date… I’ve noticed too, within the queer community, that the younger generation are more accepting of Asian men when it comes to dating. Whereas in my generation, it was not, it was only Asian girls.

Even incorporating some aspects of Asian into my drag when I’m performing or when I’m given a platform is super important — for other people out there to see it, and to respect it in a way that they don’t look down upon it.

Thank you for bringing that representation. What personal growth have you experienced since Drag Race?

I thought I was an open-minded person — I grew up in New York City, so I thought I’d seen a lot of diversity and different cultures. After Drag Race, I got to travel to different places and I realized “Wow I’m not as open-minded or as culturally-aware as I thought I was!”

We live in a generation where we constantly tell people to come out, be you, be proud of who you are, and just love who you want to love… But most people don’t have the privilege that we do, especially if you live in a smaller town — it might just not be safe for them to come out. If they come out, they might lose their jobs or family, and they might not be accepted.

I have found that going to different parts of the world, even the smallest towns, can really open up your eyes to see how people actually live.

What advice would you give others for prioritizing their sexual health?

I think not just queer people should go on PrEP! I think everyone should go on PrEP. HIV could literally end in this generation. We have the medication for it. We have the science for it. Why not?

I’ve talked to a lot of people that are straight, pansexual or bisexual. They don’t know about PrEP. They don't even know that AIDS is old news. They don’t know about things that could get passed on during sex. They think that, if you only have heterosex, you won’t get HIV; and only if you have queer sex, you can get HIV. That's a myth! That’s total misinformation!

I think if more people are educated about the protections out there for them, then we can have a better world.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.