Holidays are rarely easy for sex people (sex workers, sex writers, proud sluts, and porn stars). For queers, holidays are usually great until we get a little older, when they morph into minefields of political talks, triggering religion, and flagrant bad taste (multicolor Christmas lights, my god). Going home can mean going back back into the closet — or going on Grindr to find the closest playmate (nearby or absurdly far away) for a covert hookup. At least we still have drag queens dressed like Santa.
Here we asked 12 gay porn stars about their best and worst holiday hookups. The results, as you can guess, go from relatable, to sentimental and sexy. Read on for the stories.
The linked Twitter handles may have NSFW content.
Twelve years ago, before I was out of the closet, I went to stay with my parents in Ohio for Christmas. They went out to do some last-minute Christmas shopping, so I opened my app (this was when apps were new) and invited a guy over for some fun. It was a miserable winter night and this guy came over in the middle of an awful ice storm, and we got right to business.
Literally at the point of insertion, I heard the front door open and my dad called upstairs and said the roads were too icy to drive, so they turned around. Of course, I started panicking. We threw our clothes on. He was freaking out. I didn’t know what to do. Then I told him, “You have to jump out of the window!” He said there was no fucking way he was jumping out a second floor window.
The hot tub was right below my bedroom. I told him, “It’s just a ten-foot jump onto a soft hot tub cover! Once you’re in the back yard, go out
the side gate and run to your car. You’ll be fine!”
I convinced him to do it. He jumped and crashed through the hot tub cover into the water.
My dog must have heard the crash because I heard him downstairs barking and going nuts. So I hurried downstairs to distract my parents so they didn’t let the dog out or see what happened in the backyard, and somehow I caught them in time. I told them I was going to get in the hot tub for a bit so I could fix the broken cover.
I could see a trail from the hot tub to the gate where the hot water melted the ice and snow!
The dude was so pissed at me. Fortunately, he got over it, and to this day we are great friends and we laugh about this all the time.
For Christmas during my freshman year of college, I went to Florida with my family. The only hot guys nearby happened to be some friends of mine. They invited me to over to have some edibles and get stoned, and they told me it would be a “no-sex night.” When I got there, I took my edible, then immediately noticed the tension in the room. Pretty soon, my friends started fighting, and while they were screaming at each other my edible hit. I thought I had taken 10 mg but I had accidentally taken 25 mg, so it was way too strong. One of the guys literally threw a vase, then stormed out. My host apologized and we fucked for hours.
It was December and I went to Washington D.C. because I had just broken up with my ex and a client hired me for sex work. Since I was there, I decided to plead my case to my ex and convince him that we made a mistake breaking up. I met him and he basically told me to fuck off. Right then and there, I decided that 2020 would be the year of dating myself — I would be single and fuck everyone I wanted to and focus on me. The next day, I got to my client’s house and he told me someone would be joining us. Julian Torres walked in and he and I have been inseparable ever since.
I grew up on the East Coast of Canada, a small, sparsely populated area. Winters there are long, cold, and snowy. There aren’t many gay people around and few of them are out. A few days before Christmas some years ago, I hopped on Grindr and saw an adult film star I recognized. I assumed it was a catfish and messaged the porn star on Twitter to let them know someone was using their pictures. He messaged back saying he was indeed in my town — he was from the same small town I grew up in, and he was visiting his family for Christmas. Somehow we had never crossed paths. We met up a few times that holiday for some fun and now we are good friends. I later moved to his city and today we’re practically neighbors!
My sisters and I are close and very open about sex. One Christmas while we were visiting home and staying in our old bedrooms, I was in bed about to rub one out when I heard a knock on my door. I covered my boner with the sheets.
"Yes?" I said.
My sister's voice said through the door: "Hey...do you have any lube?"
"Um. Yeah. But I'm using it.”
A short pause. Then she says: "Ok…can you just squirt some in my hand?"
"Ok, I'm just gonna crack the door."
I stood behind the door, opened it slightly, and her hand extended through. Squirt, squirt.
"Ok goodnight! Thanks!" she said.
"Goodnight! Love you!"
After talking to my family about how important it is to do things together at Christmas, I went home and all they wanted to do was watch TV. I was bored out of mind. My mother asked me if I have any friends in town I could visit. I said “Yes!” and caught the bus to Club San Diego, a local bathhouse, and spent most of the day fucking and fisting guys who were either getting away from their families or didn’t have family to go to. When I got back to my conservative parents, I had to tell them I had been swimming with my friends because I smelled like chlorine.
When things started to get cold this year, I had a holiday play date with my partner, who is like my family. Alex was visiting from NYC. I picked him up from the train station and we got back to my place and fisted the shit out of each other. After that, we got the idea to fuck outdoors. So first we fucked in the stairwell outside my apartment, then we went to my storage unit nearby. In the unit, he climbed on top of a credenza and I fucked him again. We both came multiple times.. It was super cold, but that was a hot day.
Going home for the holidays is always wonderful but if you’re feeling horny it’s not always the easiest place to be. I’m from a small town and there aren’t a lot of options for hookups. Two Christmases ago, I was home and crazy horny, and one good thing about a small town is all the sexy closeted married guys. I have the pick of the litter with these sexy beefy “straight” guys when I go home. I met this guy online and we both couldn’t host and needed a place to meet. He said he had a good place for us to meet, so he gave me the address and the next thing I know I’m in a locker room at a skating rink. He was a coach for the local hockey team and this was his place to bring boys. What a fantasy it was having sex with a coach in a locker room. He’s one of my first stops every year when I go home.
For Christmas last year, my family decided to do something together that we had never done before, so my sister and I flew to Hong Kong where my brother was living. I had recently come out to them as a porn actor and they were very supportive.
While we were in Hong Kong, I booked a gogo dancing gig at a local gay bar, and my sister and brother came to watch and support me. My fans at the bar kept buying drinks for them. On Christmas Day, one of my fans took the three of us to Soho House as his guests. We sat overlooking the harbour drinking cocktails. It was surreal to be in such luxury with my siblings, all because this man enjoyed seeing my hole stretched open on Pornhub.
My takeaway from that is that it is possible for our sexuality and our sex work to co-exist with our families. I'm lucky that I am supported by my siblings, but I had to take the risk to open myself up to them.
For my first Thanksgiving after moving from my hometown of Los Angeles to San Francisco, I was staying at my friend’s apartment and thankfully had it to myself. I decided to get into some trouble. This was before Grindr — I had to find a guy on Craigslist! When he was on his way over, I left to grab some poppers, and when I came back, I could not unlock the door to the apartment. I didn’t have my phone so I couldn’t tell homie not to come. Eventually I heard him buzzing from outside the door, so I went down and let him in, then continued trying to open the door until he urged me to give up, and we fucked on the stairwell within earshot of the neighbors. After he left, my hands, slippery with lube, handled the key back into the lock and it clicked open with zero effort. I still think the lube made that happen.
I was 20 years old. I asked a guy I had been in love with for almost two years to celebrate the New Year in the small village where my parents lived. I was surprised and glad that he decided to go. I was tense. My parents still don't know I'm gay. This was in Russia. But it was the brightest New Year of my life. And when my parents went to bed, I kissed a man for the first time.
Two years later, I was dating him and we had been apart for a while. He left for four months for a geological exploration in the Siberian tundra, almost 4,000 kilometers from Moscow. I decided to surprise him and celebrate the New Year together, so I traveled more than 3,000 kilometers in three days on three trains, and he had to overcome 500 kilometers of frozen tundra in order to reach the little settlement where I was waiting for him. It was very cold, -37 degrees Celsius, but we spent two days together.
Those were the best two New Years celebrations of my life.
One year, I was home alone during the holidays. I don’t normally use Grindr, but I decided to try it. I logged on, found someone and invited him over. When he showed up, he looked nothing like the photos he shared on the app. Like, did he think I was blind? He immediately asked to use my bathroom, and that gave me some time to come up with a reason to make him leave. He came out of the restroom and started to take his clothes off. I was about to ask him to leave when he asked me if I smoke. “Smoke what?” I asked. “Meth,” he said. I don’t, and that wasn't something we had discussed before.
Needless to say I asked him to leave. Grindr isn’t for me, but I love my left hand!