By now you've heard that Donald Trump's nomination to fill Anthony Kennedy's vacated Supreme Court seat is D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Brett Kavanaugh. In case you don't know where Kavanaugh stands on some majorly important social and political issues, host Stephen Colbert dedicated a segment of last night's Late Show to just that.
"I don't know much about Kavanaugh but I'm skeptical because his name is Brett. That sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at Ruby Tuesday's. 'Hey everybody, I'm Brett, I'll be your Supreme Court justice tonight. Before you sit down let me just clear away these rights for you.'
Of course, one of the chief concerns about such a drastic shift on the SCOTUS bench is the potential to overturn landmark cases like Roe v. Wade. But don't worry, Kavanaugh took time during his speech to reassure everyone that he knows and interacts with women on a daily basis.
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However, one of the most glaring bullet points to stand out from Kavanaugh's resume is a comment he made back in 2009 about Congress passing a law that exempts "a President - while in office - from criminal prosecution and investigation, including from questioning by criminal prosecutors or defense counsel." His reasoning? Because "the job of president is far more difficult than any other civilian position in government." Running a country is hard? Groundbreaking.
"He thinks the President should be above the law because his job is hard?" Colbert tries to rationalize. "Well, in that case, I say moms of three or more kids ought to be able to murder at will." Hear that, Purge franchise owners? Give us all of our favorite on-screen moms running late with a massive kitchen knife and we'll bring the popcorn. Watch, below.