An openly gay bridesmaid was told she couldn't bring her girlfriend to her sister's wedding and must instead be the date of a single groomsman.
The aggrieved sister revealed on Reddit that her family has called her 'self-centered' for calling out the snub, even though every other member of the wedding party was allowed to bring a plus-one and months after the bride-to-be gushed about the dress the girlfriend had specifically bought for the wedding.
"I'm a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding but she denied me a plus-one and gave me one of the groomsmen as a date," the unnamed poster wrote in "Am I the A**hole?" subreddit post recently. "I asked her to allow my girlfriend to come and she said no and got mad."
For background, the woman wrote of how it was no secret she was gay in her family, and her sexuality had never been an issue before. She also said she had no issues with the duties of being a bridesmaid, which called her to walk down the aisle, take some pictures, and sit at a table together with the man.
"No problem," the poster wrote. "I'm in a relationship and I assumed my girlfriend would be invited to the wedding or I could bring her as my plus-one."
All that changed when she received her invitation which didn't include an invite for her girlfriend.
"When I brought this to my sister's attention, she said the groomsman (I'll call him John) is my date," the stunned sister continued. "She told me John is single so it made sense to 'pair us up' and have us be each other's dates."
According to the woman, she has nothing personal against John, and the cost of one more guest is not an issue as their parents dropped "at least $75k on the wedding," including over $20,000 alone for a local beachfront venue chosen by the bride-to-be. All members of the wedding party received a plus-one invite, and none of them are married, she revealed. To add insult to injury, the snub comes after the sister had months earlier complimented the girlfriend on the dress she had purchased to wear to the wedding, recalling her "sister's exact words were 'I can't wait to see her wearing it.'"
The woman also revealed her sister didn't even bother to tell her personally, letting her figure it out instead after receiving the invitation. And even though her family has been inclusive and affirming over the years, they turned their backs this time.
"My sister complained to my parents about my request and they sat me down and said while they are fronting the money, they aren't involved in the planning and my sister can do as she pleases and I was reminded it is her day and not mine and demanding changes to the guest list is self-centered," she revealed.
The entire affair has left her "honestly shocked" and unsure what to do.
"Part of me just wants to say screw it and not go but I'm a bridesmaid and finding a replacement in under six weeks would be difficult and as angry as I am with my sister and parents I don't want to disrupt the wedding," the woman wrote, later asking, "Was it wrong of me to ask my sister to add an extra spot to the guest list?"
If the comments on the thread are any indication, public sentiment is strongly on the side of the snubbed bridesmaid.
"This is perhaps the only time when it's advisable to use the pull-out method on [the] wedding night," one popular response read, listing off the reasons why the original poster shouldn't feel guilty about pulling out.
"They don't need a replacement," the commenter continued, later adding, "You're not asking for an 'extra spot' - you're asking for a place that you are entitled to. You are also asking for fair and ethical treatment."
The commenter concluded the post by placing blame on the (wedding) party responsible.
"Your sister is being foul," the commenter wrote. "You have no obligation to play along."
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