How to jerk off: Tips from the pros

These tips really come in handy!

For me, a good solo session of masturbation falls somewhere in the heavy overlap between filth and prayer. I nearly always make a mess — lube stains on my sheets and cum on my floor. When was the last time you had a really incredible jack off that left you in the bit of a stupor?

In 1994, Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was fired by President Bill Clinton for suggesting that masturbation should be part of the sex education curriculum for students. While most sex therapists, public health workers, and other experts would probably agree with Elders as of 2024, let's be honest: for most of us, self pleasure isn't something we experiment with. We've figured out what works at a younger age, so we just keep the rinse and repeat process forever. There's so much more out there… if only we experimented a bit more!

Scroll through to get real advice on how to jerk off better from high-profile individuals in the business of pleasure.

Eroticism isn't always about reaching an orgasm.

It's important for people to work on detangling the concept of eroticism from the act of reaching an orgasm.

An erotic experience doesn't just happen when you're masturbating or having sex; it can happen in a store, in an art gallery, on the street, or anywhere you are turned on and tuned in to your fantasies.

The joy of seeing eroticism this way is that every time I go outside my apartment, I am open to the possibility of a hot little encounter — some form of engagement with the world that lights my inner fireworks. Cruising a handsome man on the street or engaging with erotic art can be better than a quick jerk off before bed.

I admittedly have started to masturbate a lot less over the years, because it's not the only way I get off day-to-day. But when masturbate, I do everything I can to make it count. Delaying orgasm, for instance, can make it even better.

Edging usually gets rave reviews.

"Edging is bringing [someone] right up to orgasm but backing off," says KB, a dominant BDSM master in Chicago who has branded himself as a person "reprogramming dumb, bound jocks."

"With edging," he says, "the orgasm is explosive."

According to KB, edging can be done by yourself or with others. The trick is working yourself as close as you can to the limit and then allowing yourself to cool down before doing it again. Experts even "coast," or work themselves to the limit, and keep themselves there for as long as possible. More often than not the orgasm that results from edging is a lot more satisfying than a quickie.

Be vocal — and even get loud — when masturbating.

Popular OnlyFans model @lexnstuff has a large social media following and is known for his solo masturbation videos.

The OF creator recommends being a little more vocal when jerking off — and, yes, even if you're by yourself! "Talk. Be vocal," he says. "Live in the fantasy you want happening."

The body has many erogenous zones, so why not experiment with them?

Queer sex therapist and former sex worker Amariah Love has helped many clients with masturbation struggles, and she encourages people to decentralize masturbation from just one sex organ or part of the body.

"I think it's really important for folks to experiment with all kinds of different stimulation while masturbating," Love says. "Experiment with anal, vaginal, clitoral, nipples, thighs, and so on. We all have our own combinations that give us the most fun. The better we know our bodies, the better all sex will be, both with ourselves and with others."

So feel free to give your chest a rub, or arch your back, and give yourself time and space to find out how you feel.

Sex toys are your friends, not your enemies.

I'm a big fan of big toys. As a pretty devoted bottom, I regularly play with toys to give myself pleasure and practice for vigorous sex and/or fisting. Some years ago, when I exclusively bottomed, I reached a point where I could not orgasm without something in my butt — so anal toys (like butt plugs) were very helpful every time I masturbated.

There are also toys that are more phallus-centric. For instance, cock rings and Fleshjacks can be fun. The only way to know whether you like them or not is to give them a try!

Moreover, Amariah Love explains that different vibrators can provide varying experiences for people with vaginas. "They create a kind of suction that just feels better than traditional vibrators, and they are much easier to hold in place," she says.

If you have a penis, you should try milking.

Kinkly defines milking as "the act of massaging a man's prostate gland through his anus to encourage him to ejaculate as much seminal fluid as possible." The term "milking" and the action associated with it are most commonly used in the gay BDSM community, but not exclusively.

Milking can be experienced by yourself with prostate-stimulating toys. I used to work at a major sex toy supplier, for instance, and these kinds of toys were top-selling products. The feedback we received was that customers trained themselves to cum harder and heavier with these tools.

In BDSM, milking is usually done with milking machines and other fetish tools as a form of erotic torture for a bound submissive. KB says, "My milking machine controls the orgasm if it even happens."

Other people don't really enjoy or need toys for milking: if you or someone you know can find your prostate (generally located somewhere within the first few inches of your anal cavity) and continue to stimulate it with their finger, that also works.

Give yourself some extra time to play and experiment.

For Love, there's nothing better than "a Saturday afternoon to myself, a big empty bed, several toys, plenty of water, and a few favorite erotic stories to read and videos to watch." She's learned to devote extra time to herself as part of a broader focus on self-care, particularly during the lockdown — something that, as a therapist, she regularly talks about with her clients.

"Setting aside a block of time to be alone and taking the time to masturbate slowly and intentionally can be a wonderful act of self-care," she says. "For a lot of us, drawing out the process — using techniques like edging — means you not only get to enjoy jerking off longer, but your orgasm is more intense and lengthy as well. I know for me, there's a big difference between a quickie before bed to help me get sleepy and the excitement I feel when I have a Saturday afternoon to myself."

Masturbate at different times of the day.

Another great piece of advice is to treat your solo sessions like having a date with yourself. It all starts with intention.

"For me, a big obstacle was getting over the 'oh just jerk off before bed' idea, which comes from years of hiding it in my teenage room," says Joe Spaceman, also known as SixFootFiveGuy, an adult film star with "a monster bulge that I can't keep my hands off of."

"Getting over that idea took time. I learned to let myself jerk off after the gym, or at 3 p.m., or whenever the mood struck."

Spaceman no longer feels like he has to jerk off before bed every night to be satisfied. "Sometimes it's better to not force it and save things for a better day."

Get into popper-bating (responsibly!).

Popperbating is a common practice that combines masturbation and poppers.

In case you didn't know, poppers is a chemical inhalant drug and slang term applied broadly to chemical drugs called alkyl nitrites. These products are mostly harmless when inhaled, but they are banned for human consumption in the U.K. and the U.S. Nonetheless, poppers can be found in all sorts of sex shops both online and across the United States.

Popperbators enjoy huffing poppers repeatedly in long, drawn-out masturbation sessions, usually while watching porn. Poppers usually produce a head rush — feelings of warmth, dizziness, lightheadedness, and euphoria. Most poppers will dilate blood vessels and make your blood pressure drop, which can cause dizziness and can make you pass out.

Using poppers with blood pressure medication can be deadly, and it's commonly known that you should never use poppers while taking erectile dysfunction pills (medications like Viagra also make your blood pressure drop). The combination of those two things can be lethal.

The biggest problem with poppers is that it is a heavily unregulated product that allows for many counterfeits to be sold with additional/different chemicals that are actually dangerous. Thus, a person must be mindful of the product they're buying, who the manufacturer is, and how much you can trust the seller to be providing you with the legitimate thing.

Different kinds of lube can completely change your experiences.

Amariah Love likes using scented oils. I personally think there's nothing hotter than masturbation with someone else's cum, which really can only be done with someone else present. For my solo times, I keep a bottle silicone lube by the bed.

"I like to use Albolene as lube, which is pretty standard in the masturbating community," says @everydayb8. "It's affordable and long-lasting!"

Allow yourself and your fantasies to evolve.

Gay adult film star @LivingLargerXXX knows a thing or two about transformation. He's been into muscle growth and injecting silicone into his dick and balls (which is a fetish) since 2017. He describes himself as a dominant daddy, a key-holder (for gay submissive men into chastity), and fisting top who posts videos on different platforms.

"After getting silicone, I had to relearn how to use my cock and balls for masturbation," he says. "My abilities and how I derived pleasure changed. Initially, it was scary and depressing; it took me a while to figure out how to do those things with my new body."

But LivingLargerXXX adapted! And, through experimentation over time, he learned other things about himself.

"My tastes in men and what I'm attracted to and turned on by has gone through at least two visible shifts and is possibly entering a third," he says. "Continual re-evaluation of how and what turns you on is important. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and accept sexual interests that aren't always what other people find attractive."

Your own internal fantasies are often more stimulating than porn.

"I think masturbation is a kind of self-love that is more animalistic, raw, and visceral," says @everydayb8. "Even with porn as stimulation, you need to draw deep within yourself to experience the lust in the exact way you want it."

Masturbation enthusiast @everydayb8 gives this advice for people who want to make their experience better: discover what your way is, your own private ritual. Personalize your masturbation. "No two people will ever masturbate the same way and I think that is the charm to such idiosyncrasies."

The true joy of masturbation, he says, is that it is, at its simplest, a private journey of self-discovery. "It's getting into a headspace and allowing yourself the luxury of discovering your sexuality on an incredibly nuanced level."

Don't forget that your brain is the biggest sex organ in your body.

Amariah Love thinks that people should constantly remind themselves that their thoughts play a large role in sexual stimulation, even if the phrase itself sounds a little cliche.

"I can create intense sensations just by imaging I am stroking my clit. I have brought myself to orgasm without touching myself," she says. After all, she says, sexual pleasure — whether it's happening solo or with someone else — only exists in the mind, not the body. "What's going on in my mind completely determines how the physical touch feels."

Love thinks that much discourse around masturbation is centered on bodies and parts, which can be difficult and triggering for transgender and nonbinary folks. She regularly reminds her clients that if self-touching and body-centric pleasure is too uncomfortable, the mind is still free space to play. It's for everyone!

If you feel guilt or shame after masturbation, doing some research can help.

Masturbation enthusiast @everydayb8 says, "I came from a semi-traditional Asian upbringing, and while my parents never really brainwashed me that [masturbation] is something bad, the lack of communication in sexuality made me think it's some kind of forbidden fruit. So, when I first discovered masturbation and ejaculating, I naturally thought I did something wrong."

This was before the internet existed, and @everydayb8 explained that he actually went to libraries to check out books about human anatomy and sexual reproduction. "It helped me gain a scientific ground on things and reshaped my perspectives."

The hypnosis rabbit hole.

Spaceman loves hypnosis videos and audio files, which are readily available online and designed for masturbators. In fact, there are even adult film actors who create them. While the science is vague (at best) about whether or not someone can actually be hypnotized, least of all from a video online, hypnosis masturbators — hypnobators — say they can be put in trance-like states with certain sounds and visuals, allowing them to masturbate for extended periods of time.

"There have been some hypnosis audio files that I've had good success with checking out of my brain and being able to focus on the pleasure buildup," Spaceman says. "I have someone that sends me tracks. I find that they help me focus and let some of the loud parts of my brain shut up for a bit. It's almost like a sexy meditation."