With every new generation of gay and bisexual men comes a new generation of cruisers. Men who surreptitiously search for other men in the hopes of a lascivious, salacious, and electrifying sexual encounter. In the era of Grindr, cruising isn’t as popular as it once was. There are now other ways to have an ephemeral sexual tryst. (This is in large part why gay bathhouses are shutting down across the U.S.) But if you are one of the gay/bi men out there, like many of us, who don’t get that same rush from Grindr that you do from furtive eye glances in the sauna — which turn into so much more — then this article is for you: the 5 do's and 5 don’ts of gay cruising.
This isn’t necessarily something you must do in order to cruise successfully, but it is something that you should do. It lets guys know you’re interested and you’re down to have fun. There’s also something incredibly arousing about seeing a guy look at you with a mischievous grin.
Jogging shorts with no underwear, jeans without a belt where the buttons snap off with ease, and loose sneakers you can easily kick off are all examples of ideal articles of clothing. Things not to wear include skinny jeans, high-top boots you need to lace, and a 3-piece suit.
The reason why cruising has persisted throughout the decades is because of discretion. If we were getting caught all the time, or straight people became aware all the nasty things we were doing so near to them, cruising would not be a thing anymore. In fact, there would likely be a police officer outside of every sauna, truck stop, and airport bathroom. Don’t ruin it for others. Be discreet. Be quiet.
If you do everything correctly (i.e., making eye contact, waiting for him to play with himself over his shorts after he sees you playing with yourself over your shorts), then this shouldn’t be a problem. Of all the times I’ve cruised, I’ve never had the "wrong idea about a guy," so to speak. When I whip it out, they drop to their knees. Everyone knows the deal.
I have so many friends who experience incredible amounts of guilt after cruising. They think it’s dirty, "wrong," or one of a million other things. Don’t slut shame yourself. That said, if you think you’re struggling with sex addiction, then seek help, but if you’re just having some fun in a healthy way, then enjoy it. Sex is fun. Live a little!