According to Rowling, Dumbledore calls his hole “the chamber of secrets.”
March 18 2019 2:22 PM EST
May 26 2023 1:02 PM EST
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According to Rowling, Dumbledore calls his hole “the chamber of secrets.”
Since last week's revelation that yes, Dumbledore fucks, the Hogwarts headmaster (head master, get it?) has become a viral sensation. J.K. Rowling's TMI updates about the wizarding world have been one of Twitter's favorite running jokes for months (who can forget her admission that wizards used to just piss anywhere they wanted and clean it up with magic?) but her stunning reveal that her sole queer character had sex has sent the girls into quite a tizzy.
\u201cme:\n\nJK Rowling: Dumbledore was on PrEP\u201d— grant\ud83d\udc68\ud83c\udffb\u200d\ud83e\uddb1 (@grant\ud83d\udc68\ud83c\udffb\u200d\ud83e\uddb1) 1552839481
\u201cnobody:\njk rowling: dumbledore has a cyst, it\u2019s currently oozing, and then it popped on the broom ride here. it\u2019s just been a messy week\u2026\u201d— ts daphne (@ts daphne) 1552879966
\u201cNobody: \n\nJ.K. Rowling: Dumbledore\u2019s patronus is the Grindr logo\u201d— carter hambley (@carter hambley) 1552841186
\u201cMe: how about some lesbian representation in \u2014\n\nJK Rowling: Hermoine\u2019s first vibrator was a wired bullet she got for free in a raffle at an L Word screening party in 2003 but then her ex got a job at Babeland and she used the discount to invest in a rechargeable Hitachi\u201d— Mary Emily O'Hara (@Mary Emily O'Hara) 1552851350
\u201cJ. K. Rowling: Hagrid was gay, too\n\nMe: ...what\n\nJ. K. Rowling: check chapter 4 of the first book, sweetie\u201d— Tom Zohar (@Tom Zohar) 1552850210
While the exposure of Dumbledore's sex life doesn't seem to be stopping, some have already had enough.
\u201cNobody:\nTwitter: Nobody:\n J.K. Rowling:\u201d— Jackson McHenry (@Jackson McHenry) 1552874185
And more are pointing out what these jokes miss: that J.K. Rowling can talk about Dumbledore's sexual relationship with Grindlewald all she wants, but until the film series actually explores their romance it's not actually representing queer characters.
\u201cjk rowling can log on here and tweet \u201cdumbledore was a dom top\u201d all she likes but the fact remains she actively leaves out any LGBT rep in her books and films so her profit isn\u2019t affected\u201d— sister laura (@sister laura) 1552829205
\u201cpeople are acting like JK Rowling randomly brought up Dumbledore's sex life. in fact, she said she *isn't interested* in exploring Dumbledore's sex life, because she thinks that's what people are asking for. she assumes that any depiction of queerness must be adult rated.\u201d— Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Gavia Baker-Whitelaw) 1552843946
Make all the memes you want, gays, but remember: J.K. Rowling is happy to give interviews until the hippogriffs come home about Dumbledore getting his cheeks clapped, but she and the filmmakers have consistently refused to present him as a fully-realized gay man on screen -- it's too late for the books, unless she wants to pull a Stephanie Meyer and rewrite one from Dumbledore's perspective -- possibly because they feel that it would alienate their "family" audience. Dumbledore is also apparently the only queer person in the entire Wizarding World extended universe, which is frankly ridiculous. Professor Sprout is a lesbian icon! Luna Lovegood? Bisexual. St. Mungos must offer some kind of magical HRT! Until Rowling and Warner Bros. decide to make their characters gay on screen, everything else is just fan fiction. OK, one more for the road.
RELATED | Dumbledore and Grindelwald Were Totally Having Sex, J.K. Rowling Says