When RuPaul gives you advice on a show that’s named after him, take it.
How contestants who fail to understand the gravitas that comes with Ru’s place as the top entertainer in their field for the past quarter of a century, is mind boggling. And yet here we are: the latest episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race over, and Mariah Carey’s legacy desecrated.
This week, in the maxi challenge, contestants were divided up into two teams for a bit of diva worship. Stylized in the way of the Christian News Network, each group selected a respective pop music diva for one-take live skits. While the It’s Britney Bitch Network, in honor of our very own Godney, had everyone swinging blonde wigs by the end of their set (Nina West may have been named the winner on the main stage, Miss Vanjie put in the work, bitch), the When You Believe team turned out homophobia at its finest.
“You bitches ain’t done no homework,” Ru told them during the work room visit after posing a few Mariah-izms 101 questions to the group and getting nothing in return except crickets. She later pointed out that their collective knowledge about the star was very little.
Like, we get it, she’s one of the top Billboard chart performers (which is difficult to do; not everybody gets that) and would thus seem like one of the easiest choices out there. But when you start it off by singing “So Emotional” in a brainstorm session when you should be holding your ear while hitting a Mariah-signature G#7… honey, you got a big storm coming.
Mimi, she of the unmatched vocal range, doesn’t have a song, movie or project called Sparkle as the queens seemed to think in the episode. No. That was her “When You Believe” collaborator — yes, the track that took home the 1999 Oscar — Whitney Houston, who played in the 2012 musical film. No, Mariah and her Lambily have Glitter, a film and album from 2001 that was pushed to the top of the iTunes charts late last year because of the passion of the star’s fandom. Where was the passion?!
Between an odd Exorcist-inspired vocal change from Plastique Tiara and a vocal performance from Ra’Jah O’Hara and Honey Davenport that Miss Carey and her run-prone, five-octave vocal range would certainly not appreciate, the team didn’t show any passion for the star, nor her mannerisms. Honey could have gotten up there and told Ra’Jah to stop singing her part. Plastique could have asked for a little green tea before she performed her conversion. Shuga Cain and Scarlett Ivy could have threw in some asides like “these chickens is ash and I’m lotion,” or a line about touching her body, but no. We were left with this mess.
“Stink. Stank. Stunk.” Ru told the team of their performance. There has never been a more eloquent and on point description.
The whole team truly did not know Mariah Carey, and for that, it’s only right that each queen be subjected to the show’s first six-way lip sync. Justice indeed.