It's 2021. Let's stop pretending that we don't all want to f*ck monsters. Shame is a useless emotion that only helps people hold us down. And we don't want people to do that -- we want monsters to do it!
There's just something so sexy about a big, dangerous, inhuman creature that we find irresistible. They've got claws and teeth and tongues and tentacles! They've got super strength and size and wings and tails! The possibilities are endless!
So put on your goggles and strap in, because it's going to be a wild ride of dragons, aliens, and monsters. (Did we miss any of your favorites?)
The Balrog from 'The Fellowship of the Ring'
Now this is a Demon Daddy! He obviously still has some hang ups about his ex-boyfriend Gandalf, but we'd be willing to work through them as long as he brings along that whip.
This wolf goddess from the classic Studio Ghibli film isn't just a monster we love, she's a Mommy we love too! Just imagine that big warm mouth with it's sharp fangs and wet, strong tongue wrapping around you. It's a dream!
Lady Dimitrescu from 'Resident Evil: Village'
Another Mommy monster! This video game villain set all of the internet in a tizzy when she was revealed. At nine and a half feet tall, she's the woman of our dreams. And the giant claws and murder don't hurt either!
King Ghidorah from 'Godzilla: King of The Monsters'
Honestly, the first time we saw Ghidorah in all his glory in the recent Godzilla franchise, we felt a little tingle. He's just so big and powerful, and has those long, long necks. We'd bow down to him any day.
The Iron Bull from 'Dragon Age: Inquisition'
Look at this character design and tell me he wasn't designed specifically with gay men in mind. You simply can't. This is one Bull we'd love to ride.
King Shark from 'The Suicide Squad'
We love a himbo! The lovable brute from the recent DC movie looks like he can handle just about anything, and we'd love for him to handle us. Move aside bears, it's shark season!
Dean Hardscrabble from 'Monsters University'
She's tough and no-nonsense, and a total boss. Plus, with those wings, fangs, and alllllllllll those legs, she's a total dreamboat.
Thrax from 'Osmosis Jones'
Okay, who said a virus was allowed to be this hot??? And we don't just mean the fever he gives us. You really gotta wonder what he could with that finger.
Hexxus from 'FernGully'
If you liked Thrax, you're going to LOVE Hexxus. His origin song in FernGully: The Last Rainforest awoke a lot of feelings in a lot of kids when we first saw it, and we haven't stopped thinking about this sludge monster with Tim Curry's sultry voice ever since.
Mileena from 'Mortal Kombat'
With her big, sharp teeth, long tongue, and love for blood, Mileena has been a favorite of monsterfuckers for years. Now that she was featuring in the Mortal Kombat movie played by Sisi Stringer, and revealed to be a lesbian in Mortal Kombat 11, she's an all-time icon.
A classic Hunky Monster. This demon from hell really does have a heart of gold, and we know he'd treat us well. Plus, just imagine what he could do with that Right Hand of Doom!!
Please torture me Daddy! I deserve it! All the bad boys out there are dying to let Pyramid Head get his hands on them, and so are we!
Queen Xenomorph from 'Aliens'
We would happily get on our knees and serve this queen any day. Look at all those arms and that whip-like tail and tell us you wouldn't do the same.
Amphibian Man from 'The Shape of Water'
Maybe the sexiest fish man to ever appear on screen. When Elisa used her hands to show her friend how they had sex even though he doesn't appear to have external genitals, you could definitely color us intrigued.
Mergo's Wet Nurse from 'Bloodborne'
Okay, I don't know anything about Bloodborne, but when my friend showed me this monster, I had to include her. I honestly have no idea what she is, but I'm willing to try most things once, and I'd try her a bunch of times.
Sheeva from 'Mortal Kombat'
At seven feet tall, with four arms and muscles for days, Sheeva must be one hell of a top. She can use one set of arms on you while the other is holding you down. That sounds perfect right about now.
Dragon from 'Shrek'
Donkey knew what was up! If a beautiful dragon witha dump truck ass made a smoke heart around us, we'd fall in love too!
Sisu from 'Raya and the Last Dragon'
While a lot of people shipped Raya with her rival, Namaari, another group of us watched Raya and the Last Dragon and were hoping the two title characters would end up together, espeically when Sisu was in dragon form.
The Stalk from 'Saga'
The Stalk is the sexiest bounty hunter in the galaxy. We love her long legs and giant thorax and abdomen. Please step on us with all eight of your legs!
Urak Hai from 'The Fellowship of the Ring'
This dummy thicc Urak Hai has a high pony like Ariana and an ass like Megan, plus all the body of a brutal killing machine. We sure hope he tracks us down.
Ursula from 'The Little Mermaid'
We're not talking about when she turns into a human to try to seduce the prince. We want the full-figured and tentacled sea witch who definitely understands the importance of body language!
Simone Lenoir from 'Scooby Doo on Zombie Island'
A powerful witch and immortal werecat who's also a totally hot MILF? Yes please! She can leave claw marks on our backs any day!