Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of a true gay icon: the striped Topman button down visible in roughly half of all gay Twitter profile photos.
This week it was announced that Topshop will shutter all 11 of its US retail locations and 23 locations worldwide in an attempt to avoid filing bankruptcy. As Out’s Mathew Rodriguez pointed out, Topshop has had a rocky relationship to the queer community “for co-opting LGBTQ+ language on their shirts, specifically lesbian terminology. Some queer women felt Topshop and H&M were using the word ‘femme’ on their shirts when it wasn’t theirs to use.”
On the other hand, Topman is beloved by gay men, mostly because of their striped button down shirts, which have essentially become a hanky code for a generation of queers who buy pink açaí refreshers from Starbucks and stan Billie Eilish. With Topman closing all of its US stores, where will these men turn for vertically-striped fashion?
In honor of our fallen hero, the Topman striped shirt beloved of gays everywhere, we present a lamentation in her honor.
“I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime.”