All The Queen's Men

Ewan McGregor, caught in a rare moment of wearing pants and not making out with boys. Photo: Getty Images.

You would think that once you've gone out of your way to land Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor -- two of the Queen's men most likely to play gay, drop trou or kiss other guys all in the name of art -- to star in a script about an accountant seduced by his lawyer into the seedy world of New York sex clubs, you'd be making the biggest gay movie of the year.

But, well, no. Apparently it's not our kind of sex club, because the shocking twist is that McGregor "soon becomes the prime suspect in a woman's disappearance and a multi-million dollar heist." How very Eyes Wide Shut. How very 1999.

Oh, and Michelle Williams plays the wife. Whose? I don't know. Apparently that wasn't important enough to include in the Variety article.