Hummer: Mariah Carey's "Obsessed"

"Did I Do That?," Rainbow
Calling someone insecure. Ridiculing someone's sucky comm-skills. Blasting someone's lame groupies. Yep, she did do that. All of that -- and more: She laughed at you (sucks for you). This WTF-was-I-thinking? cut from 1999's very gay disc (note title: Rainbow) claims that for Mariah to have trusted this scum-bag, she must've lost her mind. A couple years later, she did -- for real.

"Clown," Charmbracelet
Mariah knows something about Eminem that you don't. Or so round one of Em vs. Mariah goes, with a post-hospitalized, post-ice-cream-truck-pushing MC dishing about the rapper's ego (which is big, she says -- at least bigger than Mariah's rack), a secret she's keeping and claiming, "You're no superhero." Plus, you know the usually-soft songbird's pissed when she's dropping the "f" bomb. It's like Miley Cyrus calling someone a butthead.

"You're So Cold," Emotions
Even goody two-shoes Mariah wouldn't take BS. Before she went as urban as you can without donning Fubu clothing, the then-balladeer took digs at a two-faced, game-playing boyfriend. Elusive lines about being a no-good man or a "devil in disguise" don't burn like a I'm-bigger-than-you metaphorical insult, but even then Mariah had some seething venom buried beneath the innocence.

"Side Effects," E=MC2
For her hubby's sake, the Mariah-and-Nick union better last. Or he better not mess her up like Tommy Mottola of her '90s "fairytale" marriage that didn't end so happily-ever-after. But one of last year's E=MC2's highlights was a tell-all about Tommy, dishing about living in "a private hell," the violence, the repressed tears and how she was "sleeping with the enemy." Nick, take note. Be nice.

- CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Previously > Fast & Furious with 9 to 5's Stephanie J. Block