If you ever asked yourself whether you need more Golden Girls-themed accessories in your life, the answer is: Of course! Why would that even be a question?
Luckily, novelty gift store Always Fits is here to make sure that all your loose tie-in needs are met. According to Bustle, the Massachusetts-based company is currently selling Chia Pets of each of the four iconic characters: neurotic Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur), ditsy Rose Nylund (Betty White), amorous Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan), and wise-cracking Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty).
The merchandise is currently available on Always Fits’ website to purchase and to grow sprouts upon (or mold, if you’re unlucky). Cultivated for thousands of years by the Aztecs, now at last the seeds can be grown atop the head of sassy retirees.
Chia is appropriate medium for the elderly roommates who share a home in Miami, since their hair tended to be fairly bushy on the show. You wouldn’t want to grow something long and flowing like English Ivy, unless you’re referencing the episode where Sophia and Dorothy dressed up as Sonny and Cher for a mother-daughter pageant.
If you’re able to yield a harvest of seeds, you’re in luck: Chia seeds are a rich source of B vitamins, thiamin, niacin, riboflavin, and folate, all of which are important for women enjoying the prime of their lives. You won’t get those nutrients from cheesecake.
Don’t blanch at this special offer: What friend of Dorothy wouldn’t stan for these rose-cheeked beauties? They’d make a fine gift in the event that someone throws a party and invites everyone you know. Not available: Coco, the gay houseboy from the pilot, nor is mustachioed Michael, Dorothy’s son. Hopefully someday we’ll get a statue of Mel Bushman, the zipper king.
Sold separately, you’ll have to shell out around $20 each if you want the entire cast. Which of the four will you get? It’s a real Sofia’s choice.
Note: For the true superfans, you can also buy Golden Girls-themed shot glasses, mugs, socks, comforters, spiral notebooks, wine charms, and board games. There’s also a Bartlett’s-style guide to the show’s best quotes and nuggets of wisdom and a Twas the Night Before Christmas book, the latter of which is also available at Always Fits.