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We Should All Do Relationships Like Polyamorists

Radical Ideas: #41 Poly

Monogamy works for some, but is a prison for many. And one of the best things about being queer is that we get to create our relationships without society’s rubric. Tina Horn, whose podcast Why Are People Into That? and books like Love Not Given Lightly, aims to destigmatize adult sexual expression for all communities, but particularly queer ones. According to her, cultivating an honest line of communication with your partners is, if you think about it, the most poly thing you can do.

“As much as I live to stick it in every eager hole, queer slut culture is also about being the savviest communicators in even our platonic relationships — colleagues, friends, collaborators, family, exes,” Horn says. “Applying poly tools for managing jealousy to my friendships, for example, has helped me see how possessiveness leads to toxic power trips. I’ve also learned to enjoy sexual tension and not see every desire as a goal that must be achieved in order to maintain my erotic identity.” Even if you’re a monogamist through and through, setting yourself free from the patriarchy starts with a bit of a slut mindset.

This is one of our 50 Radical Ideas, featured in Out's June/July 2019 issue celebrating Stonewall 50. The three covers feature the enduring legacy of activist Sylvia Riverathe complicated candidacy of presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, and the triumphant star power of actress Mj Rodriguez. To read more, grab your own copy of the issue on Kindle, Nook, Zinio or (newly) Apple News+ today. Preview more of the issue here and click here to subscribe.

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