Monogamy works for some, but is a prison for many. And one of the best things about being queer is that we get to create our relationships without society's rubric. Tina Horn, whose podcast Why Are People Into That? and books like Love Not Given Lightly, aims to destigmatize adult sexual expression for all communities, but particularly queer ones. According to her, cultivating an honest line of communication with your partners is, if you think about it, the most poly thing you can do.
"As much as I live to stick it in every eager hole, queer slut culture is also about being the savviest communicators in even our platonic relationships -- colleagues, friends, collaborators, family, exes," Horn says. "Applying poly tools for managing jealousy to my friendships, for example, has helped me see how possessiveness leads to toxic power trips. I've also learned to enjoy sexual tension and not see every desire as a goal that must be achieved in order to maintain my erotic identity." Even if you're a monogamist through and through, setting yourself free from the patriarchy starts with a bit of a slut mindset.