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Lil Nas X Goes Deep, Sings About Being Closeted in 'Sun Goes Down'

Lil Nas X Sun Goes Down music video

He returns to his high school days in the tear-inducing video and song.

Lil Nas X is telling stories in his upcoming album Montero.

He started the roll out with the titular track "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)." In that project he talked about a connection that didn't work out and portrayed it in a massively viral music video that saw him twerk on Satan in a parable that was meant to communicate a reclamation of queer sexuality. The song sent Conservative spiraling and the associated projects even got a lawsuit from Nike. But for his next single, "Sun Goes Down," the artist opted for the tender.

In the track, Nas X talks about a time from before he felt so confident and self-assured. He sings of wanting to run away, and of feeling lonely. Lyrics recount him being picked on for his features and of the discovery of his sexuality. "These gay thoughts would always haunt me, I prayed God would take it from me," he sang. In the track, the young artist also discusses having suicidal thoughts.

Through the verses, Nas X reveals that he found solace online. "Stanning Nicki morning into dawn," he sings, referring to a time when he ran an anonymous Nicki Minaj fan account. "Only place I felt like I belonged. Strangers make you feel so loved, you know? And I'm happy by the way that I made that jump, that leap of faith. I'm happy that it all worked out for me. I'ma make my fans so proud of me." Those last lines likely reference the artist turning to embrace himself and his sexuality over the last few years, and receiving a groundswell of support.

In the music video, we watch the singer return to scenes from high school, working at Taco Bell, and praying by his bed. We also watch him go to prom alone and have to leave for a cry in the bathroom as he realizes just how lonely he is. But after a bit he emerges, changed, and finds himself falling into the music and the center of attention.

Nas X will perform the track for the first time publicly, tomorrow on Saturday Night Live.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please know there is a well of support out there to help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 can be reached 24 hours a day by people of all ages and identities. If you are a trans or gender-nonconforming person considering suicide, the Trans Lifeline can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The Trevor Project is the world's largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger). Trained counselors at the Trevor Project Lifeline can be reached 24/7 at (866) 488-7386, by texting START to 678678, or via the TrevorChat instant messaging service at TheTrevorProject.org/Help.

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