Surprise, Surprise: The Pope Will Still Not Be Attending Your Gay Nuptials

We know you were expecting Pope Francis to come out in full drag and a sandwich board that reads, "God loves my three dads!" Sadly, however, that just wasn't the case today, when the leader of the Catholic faith released a long and exhaustive document pertaining to social and family issues.

While Pope Francis has gained considerable exposure since taking papal office for his markedly accepting and even liberal stance on certain issues, he regressed today when it came to same sex marriage.

The Pope wrote in his "apostolic exhortation" entitled The Joy of Love:

"There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's plan for marriage and family."

But the news isn't all bad. Already famous for his ability to bring insight and moderation into the Vatican's conversation and approach, Pope Francis also included the following sentiments:

"By thinking that everything is black and white, we sometimes close off the way of grace and of growth, and discourage paths of sanctification which give glory to God."

He went on to acknowledge that there are those in "irregular situations," and urged the Church to recognize "the constructive elements" found therein. Read: Gay couples don't automatically equal evil, heathen couples. Thanks, Pope.

All joking aside, this is another resounding example of Pope Francis' noble and unceasing efforts to recenter the Church around the principles of love, tolerance, and acceptance, rather than exclusion and judgement. The edict also includes a call for more responsible sex education for the world's youth (a pretty revolutionary and progressive sentiment to come from the Vatican) and a more tolerant approach to divorced and remarried Catholics.

Many progressive thinkers feel that this document, which is careful not to change any actual Church laws, is intended to start a conversation that will ultimately lead to more fundamental shifts and changes down the road. As with most things religious, however, this requires patience--it's a two steps forward, one step back process.