Ben Platt guest hosted Jimmy Kimmel Live Wednesday and the award-winning singer, actor, and writer did not disappoint. During the opening monologue he debuted a hilarious quarantine parody album, and also read tweets confirming that Platt could be a super spreader of the ongoing global pandemic as he is a serious spitter while singing on stage.
“Like everyone else in this time, I’ve been hunkered down at home over the past months,” Platt revealed. “But I’ve been keeping busy.
After admitting he has spent most of his time in quarantine watching RuPaul's Drag Race, the star of Book of Mormon and Dear Evan Hanson revealed he has also been busy working on his next album.
“No work of art has been more personal to my being,” said Platt, who can be seen on Netflix’s hit series The Politician, insisting that he only agreed to host the show if the producers played a commercial for the album entitled “Quaran-Tunes.”
Billed as “The Perfect Soundtrack for ‘The New Normal,’” he debuted two cuts from the album. The first song, "Poison," revealed Platt’s personal struggles with the intersectional dangers of face masks and halitosis.
“Why does my breath smell like poison inside my mask?” the singer asked.
After lamenting how he must endure his rancid breath inside his mask all day, he did express thanks that nobody else had to “smell the decay.” (hint: they can smell it, Ben.)
He followed up this soulful ballad with a peppy song of virtual resistance, the new webchat anthem "Zoom" featuring the stirring call to action with which we can all identify, “I don’t want to Zoom anymore.”
Platt, who came out to his parents at the age of 12 but only publicly revealed he was gay last year, had earlier warned viewers about the dangers of seeing him perform live, as he might just be a danger to anyone within spitting distance in the audience.
“They say singers can be super spreaders of the virus because when you sing, you’re breathing really deeply and in some cases you even expel saliva or mucous, and by you I mean me,” Platt confessed. “I’ve been known to shower audiences with both love and liquids.”
He then proceeded to read some tweets from just a few of his many victims.
“Can’t believe it’s been a year since I saw @BenSPLATT’s spit and boogers flying all over the DEH state,” read one.
While Platt may be a danger to others, he did his best to keep everything in perspective.
“So sure. I may be spreading the virus, but I’m also spreading joy and isn’t that what counts?” he asked, before being told through his earpiece that no, that is not what counts.
You can check out Platt's complete monologue below.