Ah, the elusive versatile men: The boys who like to bottom just as much as they like to top. They are somewhat of anomaly in the gay community. That's not to say they don't exist in droves; they just happen to sometimes get left out of the conversation, since society has a tendency to think of the world in binaries. That's why when it comes to sex, we often think of "top" and "bottom."
But the versatile men are here. They're queer. (Arguably the queerest sexually). And they have a number of issues they have to deal with when it comes to sex. So here are 7 of the struggles that only truly versatile guys understand.
1. Not knowing whether to clean beforehand
The age old dilemma of cleaning prior to going out to the club (or a hookup buddy's place) or thinking, "I'm going to top anyway, so there's no reason." My motto is: always be ready for anything.
2. Assuming that because you bottomed (or topped) the first time, you’ll want to every time
Nope. Just because you were a submissive bottom for him the first time, doesn't mean that you don't want to be a dom top the second time you bone. The key to a healthy sex life is keeping things fresh and diverse... and being versatile, you're definitely changing things up in the bedroom.
3. People don’t actually believe you’re 100% versatile
It's true; you don't prefer one position to the other. It depends on a number of factors including your mood, who you're sleeping with, and frankly, a number of other indescribable things that you're not even consciously aware of.
4. When guys don’t want to sleep with you because they only sleep with exclusive tops or bottoms
I've heard this from a number of my friends who are bottoms. They only have sex with guys who are exclusive tops. I'm not sure exactly why they refuse to have sex with versatile men, but they seem to be under the assumption that if you're verse, you won't know how to be a good top. The logic, honestly, makes no sense to me whatsoever.
5. People assume you're either a top or bottom because of your gender expression
Just because a guy presents more feminine doesn't mean that he's a bottom. Similarly there are plenty of masculine daddy types who are big ol' bottoms in the sack.
6. Wanting to flip but being unable to because your partner is exclusively one position
Most versatile guys don't want want to flip every time (meaning that they both top and bottom in one love-making session.) But from time to time, you need a good pounding and want to pound the guy in return. Ya know?
7. Being at the mercy of the other guy
Sometimes you want to bottom, but can't because the guy you're with only bottoms, so if you're going to have penetrative sex, you're going to have to take one for the team and top... again.