If you're into it, bottoming is fun! But there's a lot involved when it comes to bottoming: preparation, practice, being in the right mood, just to name a few. When it comes to sex, being ready is everything, which is why we've gone ahead and compiled 25 mistakes that bottoms seem to make during their first time out.
Dental dams are a great way to make rimming safe and clean. The best part? Avoid the messy parts of oral sex when going down on him. You can even cut a condom horizontal to make your own, if you so choose!
Porn is a fantastical representation of sex; it isn't real. Does it feel realistic? If it's good porn, yes, but it just doesn't quite represent what sex is actually like if you're gay. So walk into sex with an open mind.
Bottoming is fun, but it's easy to strain yourself if you're too eager to start bottoming. Take things slow with your partner, explain that you're new, and don't be afraid to speak up if you're not ready to try something new.
There's all sorts of tops out there, and that means some tops might be too fast for your preference. Understanding and knowing your boundaries is an important part of sex, because it gives you the opportunity to know how you like to have sex. And how you don't.
It's not enough to simply understand how you feel. You have to be able to express it to your partner, too, which can be hard in its own right. Learn how to talk to your partner about your boundaries, and things will go smoothly in bed.
It's very, very important that you're nice and clean downstairs for your partner. Whether it's washing up your front or making sure your rear is nice and ready for play, a clean body is a happy and healthy body for sex.
Before jumping into anal, a bottom needs to be prepped and ready to go. That usually means fingering themself beforehand, or using toys to stimulate their rear. Make sure to play around down there with sex toys beforehand.
Stressing yourself out
There's a lot of reasons why it's bad to stress yourself out before sex. The biggest? You can cause your anal muscles to tighten up, which can make sex impossible or painful. Remember to get in the moment, relax, and tell your partner if you just aren't ready yet.
Some tops are aggressive, others are passive. Some like to be playful, some are a little bit more kinky. There's all sorts of different ways to top; don't be afraid to experiment with your partner a bit!
It's important to kiss your partner back when they're kissing you. Pay attention to the signals they give: usually, they're cluing you in to what they want you to do, whether that's suck on their tongue or give a little lip action.
There's no such thing as a "perfect" top. Every person has flaws to their personality. That's what makes us human. Instead of honing in on whether a person is "ideal" or not, celebrate what you like about them: especially if you're in a relationship.
At the end of the day, sex isn't about "being good" or "performing" for someone. It's about a deep, nurturing relationship between partners. So feel confident in yourself, and don't focus on whether you're doing "good" or "bad." Just be you!
Bottoms are, traditionally, in high supply in the gay community. But just because there's more bottoms than tops doesn't mean you won't find a top. "Bottoms" and "tops" are just easy ways to think about gay sex, they don't reveal the realities behind sexuality. Fact of the matter is, you're likely to find a partner just by trying for dates or hanging out at gay bars (whichever floats your boat between the two, that is). Don't be hard on yourself!