#Spirit Day: The Kids Still Need Tea and Sympathy

While some scenes come off as shlocky, others can give gay audiences goose pricks ofrecognition. Tom's father forces masculinity on him - encouraging him to flirt with the haggard woman at the coffee shop, nearly forcing him to get a crew cut so he'll fit in the other boys. Tom's interests, including gardening, sewing and cooking, immediately earn him the nickname "sister boy," a moniker that sticks like superglue in an all-boysschool. The most poignant scene comes when Tom's alpha-male roommate tries to coach Tom in the art of manliness. He has Tom walk around the room, and when he attempts to describe his stride, he can only produce a gesture, an unspoken, "You're light in yourloafers." Then when Al demonstrates his walk, a hulking stomp, it seems ludicrous -Tom won't event attempt it.
"It wouldn't do me any good anyway," he says. Once you've become the class pariah,there's really no way to shake it. Tom does try to bed the coffee shop girl but the plan goes horribly awry, and in a heartbreaking capitulation Tom casts aside the girl and riflesthrough her kitchen for a sharp knife. Only the intervention of strangers stops him from killing himself.

Many hold that the main character in Tea and Sympathy is not gay at all. The playwright Robert Anderson flatly stated, "It has nothing to do with homosexuality... It's about a false charge of homosexuality." While many gay audiences ignore this, the film is no-less poignant if Tom is simply a sensitive, straight teenager. Whether bullying springs from differences in race, class, orientation or anything else, the common denominator is difference. If the trappings have become outdated, the central theme of Tea and Sympathy is as important today as ever: students can be helpless at the hands of their classmates, but it only takes one understanding person to turn their life around.

In celebration of Spirit Day 2011, we encourage you to be that understanding person. Check out our post on how to show your solidarity with LGBT youth, and remember that your help can make all the difference in the world.

The Vincente Minnelli Retrospective at the BAM Cinematek runs through November 2. For information on screenings, tickets and times, visit

--JON ROTH