DWTS: The First Upset

Unfortunately, I owe a lot of people ten bucks after last night's elimination round of Dancing with the Stars. This season's smaller cast of 11 is the most genuinely star-filled bunch to date, and given the general pop culture exhaustion that gets expressed at the mention of the name of Kate Gosselin, I thought for sure she'd be out of the picture after the first round. But even amidst the traditional voters of Dancing with the Stars, a publicity hungry mom with no discernible entertainment experience or talents is still ranked above last night's cast-off, Shannen Doherty. C'mon! She did well on her jive, even on those teeny tiny legs!

But as my friend said after the results were announced, "People just don't like Shannen Doherty" (perhaps the curse of playing a bitch on TV one too many times is that people start to believe it).

The other star in the bottom two of the scores last night was Pamela Anderson. DWTS tends to favor traditional blond beauties, but she might be too far into sexpot land for their audience. I was transfixed by her commitment to method acting, not just during the dance performance but for the entire night.

Will the only woman in America allowed to rock the barbed wire arm band both proudly and unironically be voted off before the astronaut? It's up to us to decide.

-- A. RAYMOND JOHNSON

Previously > DWTS Returns