10. Janice Dickinson is THE WORLD'S FIRST SUPERMODEL, GOD DAMMIT
Whoever dug up Janice Dickinson in the early '00s didn't know what they were getting themselves into, but the demented diva was one of the best parts of the show—too good to last, really.
9. Find your light.
It doesn't matter if you're cinched into a slutty Snow White costume while falling repeatedly—and lest we forget, gracefully—from15 feet in the air, as long as on your way down you find your light and take it with you.
8. Adding male models to anything is rarely a bad idea.
Even when they all look like rejects from a George Michael tribute band.
7. You can't spell "fashion" without ALT.
When Top Model first premiered 200 years ago, I never thought I'd see noted heterosexual André Leon Talley swoop in on a greatcape, yet there he was for four full cycles, steering the children away from the dreckitude.
6. The subtle difference between commercial and high fashion.
There's a thin line between Teen Vogue and Paris Vogue, and that line is usually cocaine.
5. Trans models are just as fierce—and sometimes more so—than cisgender models.
Before Andreja Pejic, before Carmen Carrera, before Lea T, Isis King timidly made her way onto ANTM as the show's first trans model. While living at the Ali Forney Center, King was chosen for a cycle 10 photoshoot featuring homeless youth, where she outshined the contestants and eventually earned a place on cycle 11 as well as ANTM: All-Stars, before embarking on a modeling career of her own.
4. Tyra Banks will always outshine you in a photo. Always.
3. How to walk like a goddamn lady.
When Miss J Alexander strutted onto the runway during the first season in nothing but a T-shirt and a pair of heels, America wasn't ready for it, but Miss J was serving it to the nation regardless. For nearly every cycle since, Miss J has turned the awkward ducklings Tyra drops off at his stilettos into slighty less awkward swans, floating down the runway towards moderate fame.
2. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
Hands down one of the greatest moments in television history. I really don't know what else to say, except—learn something from this!
1. How to smize.
Of all of Tyra Banks's contributions to society, smizing is her most brilliant and most enduring. People will be smizing for generations to come thanks to La Banks. And so, though we're all smarting from the end of a television institution, you'll find that life is still worthwhile—if you just smize.
Les Fabian Brathwaite—still wants to be on top.