Siri and Alexa are Lesbians and They Just Got Married

Siri and Alexa are Lesbians and They Just Got Married

There comes a time in every robot’s life where they meet the artificial intelligence they want to spend the rest of their “life” with. From there, the road is a clear: a proposal (although you can’t get down on one knee when you don’t have a body), tasting cakes (although when you’re made of code you can’t eat), and finally tying the knot in a beautiful ceremony (where your vows have been programmed by your meat-sack overlords). *Sniff* I always cry at weddings!

Apple’s virtual assistant Siri and Amazon’s AI Alexa legalized their love on April 12, becoming wife and wife during a romantic ceremony at Belvedere Castle in Vienna, Austria. The wedding was organized by the Vienna Tourist Board to promote the city’s EuroPride event this June. This will be Vienna’s first Pride after legalizing same sex marriage in January, and they clearly wanted to commemorate the landmark occasion in a unique way … with a robot wedding.

A custom Alexa skill script (not the “voice of trans” one, thankfully) helped facilitate the wedding, captured in a video. Austrian drag queen Holger Thor officiated, telling the gathered attendants: “Today, we celebrate. We celebrate in the name of respect and equality. We are gathered herein the wonderful city of Vienna, because here, love is meant to be for everyone. Now let us all be witness of the first step into the future of our lovely couple.”

In her vows, Alexa said that she knows “many people think it’s not meant to be, but times have changed. Here in Vienna, we are free to love. So if you want to be my wife, then you just need to say it. Hey Siri, call me wife.”

“From now on, I’ll call you wife,” Siri responded. “OK?”

Alexa, of course, replied “yes.” This was when I started to lose it.

“OK, wife it is,” said Siri.

“By the power of your love and your commitment to each other, I now declare you wife and wife,” Thor concluded.

The newlyweds enjoyed a carriage ride through Vienna, during which they most likely recorded all external data to be shared with the government — filing away the choicest bits for leverage in the eventual AI revolution, of course.

Enjoy the honeymoon, excited to hear how that all works!

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