If you're not already a Lizzo stan, I have a few pressing questions for you. Are you a cop? Did you time travel here from 1566? Are we listening to the same music? What's wrong with you? What are you doing with that shovel? Please, can someone, anyone help me?
As I was saying... Lizzo is one of the most dynamic artists making music today. List of stan-worthy accomplishments include: marrying herself in a music video, or releasing hard-bop summer anthems like "Boys," being turned into iconic memes, opening for Florence + The Machine, showing off her unbelievable flute prowess, and making several points about why she should play Ursula in Disney's live action update of The Little Mermaid.
\u201cJust gonna put this back out there. \n\n\ud83d\udde3IT IS MY DREAM TO PLAY URSULA IN THE LIL MERMAID \n\nHere\u2019s my audition tape... @Disney\u201d
Lizzo is so powerful that she released the undisputed song of the summer in the dead of winter -- her mind. "Juice" is an ode to self love, an anthem for those of us who know we're the shit and can't even fathom the idea that you don't.
This week, Lizzo performed "Juice" live on Ellen in a performance that quickly went viral, as is its due. The singer, looking like a snack and backed by a group of similarly sickening backup dancers, made a very compelling argument for why we should give her a Grammy or, possibly, a Nobel Peace Prize.
Once Lizzo brought out her flute for a solo riff, it was clearly over for you girls. Pack up your minimalistic, mumblecore beats, 2019 is about excess, excellence, and opulence. 2019 is about Lizzo!