Remember the Seventies? Yeah, me neither, but it's nice to pretend to, as I've been doing since I was a baby gay twirling to "Love Hangover" in a bed sheet worn as a caftan--belted with a scarf if I was feeling saucy. American Horror Story: Hotel sent the disco era snorting back to life this week with an homage to Bianca Jagger's infamous horse ride in Studio 54, with Lady Gaga high in the saddle.
The Countess (Gaga), is enamored with official hot mess male model Tristan Duffy (Finn Wittrock), who's basically hoovering everything that isn't nailed down.
The Countess, naturally, is into it, to the chagrin of her current beau, Donovan (Matt Bomer).
She turns Tristan into a vampire and then gives us some backstory: she was born in 1904, Tristan shouldn't fall in love with her, and much like VH1 10 years ago, she loves the 70s.
Why this isn't the whole show is beyond me. Lady Gaga's Countess riding around New York in 1977, belting it out with Cher, high-kicking it with Liza, making out with Elton John. American Horror Story: 54.
Anyway, at least part of this insanity is based in reality.
At her birthday party at Studio 54, Bianca Jagger--Mick's ex-wife, Jade's mother, human rights activist and former bad bitch--actually did ride in on a horse. Or rather, she rode a horse:
"It was a beautiful white horse that reminded me of mine and I made the foolish decision to get on it for a few minutes....No doubt you will agree with me that it is one thing to, on the spur of the moment, to get on a horse in a nightclub, but it is quite another to ride in on one. As an environmentalist and an animal rights defender I find the insinuation that I would ride a horse into a nightclub offensive....I hope that you can understand the difference between 'coming in' on a horse and getting on one."
There is a marked difference but the fact remains--mama was on a horse in a club! How she got there is inconsequential. That kind of shit just doesn't happen anymore, least of all because PETA would shut down any club that even thought about those equine shenanigans. And where does one even find a horse in New York after 11 pm? Asking for a friend....
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