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Tomi Lahren to Join Fox News, Because Everything is Terrible

AP/Colin Young-Wolff

Six months after being fired from The Blaze, she's back like a bad dream. 

There are a lot of emotionally scarring products that shouldn't be revived. Furbies, for example, are a product of our childhood nightmares, yet they've staged a tech-friendly comeback. Another prime example is Tomi Lahren, the millennial Ann Coulter if Ann Coulter hated herself.

It seemed like only yesterday and not six months ago that The Blaze fired her for being pro-choice, which is coincidentally the only positive thing about the anti-feminist and anti-Black Lives Matter media personality. In that nearly half a year she was gone, Lahren seemed poised to take over the coveted title of top American Beef Spokesperson.

We dreamt that she would maintain a quiet life of racism and bigotry far away from television sets, but that dream, like the old Taylor Swift, is dead. It's been announced that she'll be joining Fox News in a "signature role" on digital project that's in development, as well as a regular TV commentator for shows like Hannity.

The news is certainly depressing, but doesn't exactly come as a surprise given how far we've fallen as a country since the presidential election gave us a man who just pardoned a racist, disgraced sheriff for television ratings during a catastrophic hurricane. We can't be too sure what to expect when Lahren returns with the new show but, judging by her praise for Taylor Swift's "savage" new song, we won't rule out "Look What You Made Me Do" being her intro music.

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Chris Thomas