Michelle Obama. Say it softly, it's almost like praying.
The Firstest First Lady stole the entire goddamn show on the opening night of the Democratic National Convention with a rousing speech that reminded everyone that if she was running, she would've won this election already.
Let's all cross our hearts in appreciation, sweep our hair into a soft bang, and take a look at the 10 best moments from MObama's speech:
1. Melania Who?
You know, it is hard to believe, especially since we just heard that eight-year-old speech last week.
2. Let's Move...On, Shall We?
Wait, Barack Hussein Obama's not a Muslim Kenyan hellbent on turning us into a socialist state? Where is this coming from?
3. High Times
Michelle Obama, brushing off haters since 1964.
4. This Isn't Hillary's First Time at the Rodeo
Shade, but yes, go on...
Ah, there it is. When life gave Hillary lemons, she made lemonade. And she didn't even let Becky with the beret interrupt her grindin'.
6. "The Story That Has Brought Me to This Stage Tonight"
Here's where I started fanning myself in exaltation. Take me to church, MO.
7. When She Got Choked Up Talking About the First Daughters
Am I the only one who can't wait for Sasha and Malia to grow up and just run everything?
8. Yes, She Can
Sister did it for herself, and others.
9. Make America America Again
This, children, is called shade. Notice how she never even had to mention Trump.
10. "Let's Get to Work"
And this is how you unite a party. Michelle Obama won the DNC, won life, and won our hearts.