Dancing With The Stars Returns!

Dancing with the Stars is finally starting to live up to its name: Macy Gray! Kathy Ireland! Melissa Joan Hart! Kelly Osbourne! George Hamilton's son! OK, so it's still not top tier, but let's be real, those A-list people are busy and don't have ten weeks to devote to ballroom dancing boot camp. The new DWTS season is upon us, and tonight is the first of three live episodes this week: the men compete tonight, the women tomorrow, and on Wednesday, they give the results, but most importantly, a PATRICK SWAYZE TRIBUTE. Set your DVR now.

If your ballroom dance-loving friends are amenable to friendly competition (who says gays don't do sports?), get some help from professional gamblers on who the odds-on favorites are: as it stands now, Aaron Carter, Mya, and Donny Osmond are in the top three, and TMZ reports that gossip from rehearsals are confirming these three as contenders.

The vegas folks put so-called diva Macy Gray as a 5 to 1 favorite, but I think they haven't bothered to watch Macy too closely: she frequently seems to struggle to stand, much less dance, so if she does have a bad attitude, she might get voted off first, in lieu of Tom "isn't he supposed to be in jail?" DeLay, who really should suffer the same shameful first round flameout as Tucker Carlson. There might be a dark horse candidate this season in actress Debi Mazar, who began her career as a hip-hop b-girl in NYC and stars in FOUR Madonna videos. If she can hold on long enough through the season, maybe Madge will show up in the audience to cheer her on.

Haven't drank the DWTS kool-aid yet? Here's a favorite clip from last season: Lil Kim and her twinky partner Derek landing the top leader board spot:

Want more Dancing With The Stars action? Head over to Out.com to see exclusive how-to videos featuring Bruno Tonioli teaching celebs how to Tango, Polka, and more.

Dancing With The Stars airs on ABC starting tonight, September 21. Check local listings for times and channels.

-- A. RAYMOND JOHNSON

Previously > So You Think You Can Dance Gets Gay(er)