Just a Reminder: Twinks Have to Be Gay

Thank you to actor, writer, and comedian Jes Tom for reminding us all of the truth.

In a time of fear and ignorance, Tom spoke truth to power earlier today, tweeting out a simple reminder: “I feel like people are forgetting that a main quality of a twink is being gay.”

Amen Jes! For too long, we’ve let straight people (and plenty of queer folks, too) try to twist and corrupt the beautiful history of twinks in our culture (both online and in-person). But no more! Today, we draw a line in the sand.

Dear internet: skinny straight dudes are NOT and will NEVER be twinks.

Timothée Chalamet is not a twink. Tom Holland is not a twink. Harry Styles is not a twink. Leo DiCaprio never was. Neither was Keanu Reeves. And neither were your other white, cis, straight faves.

Troye Sivan is a twink. Adam Rippon is a twink. Justice Smith and Tom Daley are twink/twunk cusps. Sugar and Spice from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 15 are twinks. Jes Tom is a twink.

Much of this discourse restarted after a Twitter user named @thenorthmens tweeted out a picture of young Leonardo DiCaprio next to current day Leo, saying, “twink death is a terrifying thing.”

Soon, others started sharing the meme with their own pictures of celebs they considered one-time twinks and how they’ve aged.

While this could’ve been an interesting look into how gay stars like Jonathan Groff, Wilson Cruz, and Neil Patrick Harris have aged, most Twitter stans are choosing to label straight celebs as their favorite “twinks.”

Pictures of young Oscar Isaac, Robert Pattinson, Chris Evans, Paul Rudd, and Brad Pitt were shared without question. Every member of One Direction was labeled a twink. Even Jim from The Office (famously played by John Krasinski) was being celebrated as a twink!!!

My friends, these are NOT twinks. Every single definition of “twink” that you can find starts off by saying it is a term for gay people.

Wikipedia defines a twink as “gay slang for a gay man in his late teens to twenties whose traits may include a slim to average physique, a youthful appearance that may belie an older age, having little or no body hair, flamboyancy, and general physical attractiveness.”

Dictionary.com says a twink is “a young, attractive gay man with a slim, boyish appearance.” The Cambridge Dictionary says it's “a gay man who is young, slim, and looks like a boy.” And even the Urban Dictionary says a twink is “a homosexual male with attractive, boyish qualities. Typically from the ages of 18-25, and often thought of as a young, white, fashionable male.”

Gay, gay, gay, gay.

Based on these well-agreed-upon definitions, Leo DiCaprio, Tom Holland, and even Twinkothée Chalamet do not fit the description.

Maybe it's time we come up with a new name for attractive, boyish, straight men. I’d like to submit “cloud cakes.” Not only does it provide a nice contrast to “beefcakes,” but it’s also the name for Little Debby’s less-tasty, more-stale, discontinued, knockoff version of twinkies. That’s basically what these men are to twinks.