We've all been there. You're with some friends, everything's going fine, and then out of the blue your straight friend says something like "well why isn't there a straight pride?" or "OMG I love gay people," or "please stop making RuPaul's Drag Race references at me."
If this has happened to you, or God forbid if you've ever said anything like this yourself, you might just benefit from thumbing through this list. Whether it's for catharsis, or educational purposes—please enjoy the 12 most irritating and problematic things you can say to gay men.
1. “I know a guy, and you two are perfect for each other”
There's absolutely nothing worse than straight people trying to hook gay people up. Simply sharing the same sexual identity isn’t enough to make a real connection. Save yourself the embarrassment and stop trying to obsessively pair every single one of your gay friends together like socks on laundry day.
2. “How do you know you’re not attracted to women if you’ve never been with one?”
How are people still asking this question? For real. This is such a double standard. Love and attraction go far beyond one-time experiences. Asking questions like this can send even the most timid of gays into a tirade, so just don't.
3. “Look at my boobs, tell me what you think?”
Just because your gay bestie isn’t sexually attracted to you, doesn't mean that he wants to sit through a round of ‘boost my confidence by telling me my vagina looks nice.’ I'm sure he can think of 99 things he'd rather be doing, and your vagina ain’t one.
4. “I have a super important job interview, pick an outfit for me?”
Not all gay guys are fashion savy! Not all gay guys are shop-a-holics! And even if they were, what makes you think they'd want to spend their time shopping for you? Oh right, popular culture. Queue epic shopping spree montage.
5. “I’m having a dinner party and we would love to have a gay couple, are you free?”
If you send and invite like this, expect icy silence in response. Gay men are not some accessory that you can parade around the mall like a Birkin Bang or a pair of Gucci Flip Flops. Gestures like this send a clear message to the gay men in your life, and it's not cute.
6. “Such a waste of a fine man”
Men weren’t placed on this earth for the sole purpose of making babies and tending to your sexual needs. The same goes in reverse for women! What are we wasting here, really? A man who isn’t sexually attracted to a woman isn’t a waste, he's simply a man who is sexually attracted to men. Seems like he's doing his job quite well.
7. “Why do more guys have to wear makeup these days?”
It's a little thing called freedom honey, and in case you didn't notice, we look fierce.
8. “Are you a top or a bottom?”
None of your business.
9. “So which one of you is the girl in the relationship”
*Throws chair across the room.*
Two men in a relationship are two men in a relationship. There is no woman. That’s kinda the point. Oh, you meant which one is more feminine? Okay let's have this entirely different, but equally problematic conversation...
10. “You're so masculine for a gay guy”
Sexual orientation and gender expression are not the same thing. Not all gay men are the flamboyant archetypes that are portrayed on TV, and not all straight men are wood chopping, skeet shooting lumberjacks. Let people live and stop trying to define them by some asinine definition society has drilled into your head.
11. “Wow, you’re into sports?”
Yes. A gay man enjoying a game of football isn’t some giant revelation. There are far more peculiar things to question and obsess over, like if flushable wet wipes aren't really flushable, then why don't they make actual flushable wet wipes? Sorry, getting off-topic here.
12. “But…isn’t it painful”
Not any more painful than this garbage question. Give it a try yourself, and report back to us.