Not Only Fools Rush In
Photography By Benedict Evans | Hair and Makeup: Angela DiCarlo
I had some friends over for a barbecue about a year ago, and some of them brought Ruby. She didn’t want to go out that day, but she loves animals, and she came because someone showed her a picture of my pet pig. She loves to tell that story. I was in another relationship at the time, which was a little problematic, because the second I saw Ruby, I completely fell for her. It sounds corny, but it was love at first sight. Apparently, she felt the same thing.
It happened at the right time because I was in one of those nasty loveless relationships, where we were both waiting for someone else to come along and pull us out. Soon Ruby and I sent each other direct messages on Instagram, and she invited me over for a sleepover — and spinning the next day. It was a very platonic sleepover, but in the morning, she was putting this lipstick on, and was like, “My lips are so tingly.” I said, “What does it feel like?” And she said, “Let me show you,” and leaned in and kissed me. Her cheesy line totally worked.
Ruby asked me to marry her before she told me she loved me. We got engaged within about three months, and after she proposed, she said, “Oh, I haven’t told you I love you yet! I love you!” I think there was a lot of judgment about how fast it was happening, but we knew what we wanted and it felt so right. Ruby is the most beautiful creature in the world, and I love her energy. She just glows. And she has this incredibly nerdy side to her too — with her action figures and Ninja Turtles — that not many people get to see. But I get to see it.
It was definitely love at first sight. And the funny thing is that I was dressed up and she was wearing sweatpants, a sweater, and really dirty Converse. It’s not like she came out in a ball gown and I was floored by this incredibly classy woman. Still, I thought, Oh my God, I need to marry her. Who is she? But I didn’t want to be involved in any home-wrecking drama, so I [didn’t pursue her] until she messaged me that she’d broken up with her partner.
I’d just moved to L.A. from Australia and didn’t want to rush into anything, but I realized it was going to be impossible to just be friends with this girl because the feelings were so strong. Every time I tried to cool it off, we’d end up hanging out. We met every day for three months. And soon she was moving to Nepal for work with her charitable clothing line, Faircloth Supply, and I was going back to Australia to tour, and we knew we wouldn’t see each other for a month or two. So I asked her mom and her sister, we planned a surprise, and I proposed to her four hours before she got on the plane. It was like, “Yes! OK, bye.” What’s worked for Phoebe and me is that we knew we’d be spending a lot of time apart because of our work. It’s the unique things about each person that bring you together, so if you compromise yourself and turn into the other person, that can be the beginning of the end. We keep our independence, but we’ve made the decision that we’re going to be together.