Have you ever slept with a straight guy? That’s the question Australian news show You Can’t Ask That posed to gay men in its latest expose.
If you’re not familiar, You Can’t Ask That is a miniseries on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's (ABC) iview service where they ask “outrageous, uncomfortable, and shocking questions to uncover the truth behind some of the most marginalized and misunderstood Australians.” And this isn’t the series’ first foray into asking the LGBTQ+ community questions, but it might be our favorite.
At first, the answers are mostly pretty serious.
“Ugh, I hate this question,” one man says. “Mostly because I don’t find straight guys attractive.”
“I don’t like having sex with straight guys,” another adds. “It’s just something that I can’t reconcile in my head with, is having sex with someone who if they see me on the street might call me f*ggot.”
An older gay man adds that he likes to help out straight guys who are exploring. “You know, for a straight guy, I’ve seen him in some funny places,” he says. “If I get in a discussion with them and find out they're married, I always try to share my story with them.”
Then, halfway through, the dam bursts, and the real answers come out.
“They know we know how to suck d*ck good, that’s why they come to us,” one man answers. (Amen to that!)
“So I was having sex with this guy…” our favorite storyteller starts. “And this guy fully starts crying! I’m like, ‘Oh my god!!!’ I’m like, ‘Are you okay?’ as I’m still attached to this man. And he’s like, ‘Yep all right, I’m all right,’ (popping sound) you can hear that, like that’s loud, I’m like, and then I just sat down, and I’m like, my lubey *ss, I’m just like, ‘What’s wrong?’”
“He’s just like, ‘Oh it’s just I finally did it, I finally had sex with a guy and it’s everything I’ve ever…’ and I’m like, ‘I just want to be f*cked!’ Like, girl! Full boner killer, I’m like, ‘Would you like some water? Do you want a paracetamol?’ That was the worst, probably.”
These men bring up some good points, though. For some, sleeping with straight men can be more of a chore. It doesn’t usually feel good to be used as an experiment. But others are happy to help those who maybe aren’t ready to identify as gay yet.
As long as there are straight men, there will be stories like these. And as long as You Can’t Ask That asks these questions, we’ll be watching.