What the F**k Happened This Season On 'American Horror Story'?
By Rose Dommu
Keeping up with the various shenanigans happening in any given episode of American Horror Story can be a doozy, and this season especially has been a roller coaster. We've traveled back in time, been graced by the witches of Coven, gone to hell and back at least three times, visited Murder House, seen our favorite characters brought back from the dead and been treated to another legendary performance by Stevie Nicks. If you need a refresher on Apocalypse ahead of tonight's finale, we've got the crash course for you.
In the season premiere of AHS: Apocalypse, the world ends literally before the first commercial break. Coco (Leslie Grossman) and her entourage are saved and brought to a fallout shelter called the Outpost where they and a small group of survivors who either payed their way or were selected for the genetic advantages are going to ride out the end of the world. Wilhemina Venabe (Sarah Paulson) rules the Outpost with an iron fist, what secrets could she be hiding?
Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) turns up at the Outpost and announces that not all of the survivors are going to, you know, survive. He's going to hand-pick the chosen few to bring to the ultimate Outpost. Gallant (Evan Peters) hooks up with the Rubber Man, who he believes to be Langdon, and eventually kills his grandma (Joan Collins). Ms. Mead (Kathy Bates) discovers she's a robot.
Venable and Mead decide to execute the inhabitants of the Outpost during a Halloween party. Mallory (Billie Lourd) has an altercation with Langdon during which he reveals his demonic face to her, prompting her to unknowingly use magic to protect herself. The survivors all die horrifically, vomiting up their insides — it's gross. But just as we begin to despair, the witches return — surprise, bitch!
From this episode on, Apocalypse goes back in time to show us how the world came to end. Michael is scooped up by a school for warlocks, who happen to inhabit the future Outpost. The warlocks believe Michael to be the Alpha, a male witch whose power will topple the matriarchal power help by the Supreme and her coven. To prove his power to the witches, Michael journeys to hell — and the Hotel Cortez! — to resurrect Queenie (Gabourey Sidibie) and Madison (Emma Roberts).
After nailing the Seven Wonders, Michael is given a finale task: bring Misty Day back from hell. He succeeds and the coven celebrates with another iconic Stevie Nicks performance. As Stevie serenades the witches and warlocks, Cordelia reveals that she doesn't trust Michal and enlists Madison and Behold (Billy Porter) to investigate the new "Boy Supreme," starting with the place where it all began: Murder House.
The clear high point of the season was the big Murder House crossover. Madison and Behold become the new owners of the iconic haunted house and use magic to connect with the spirits inside. After run ins with Tate (Evan Peters), Violet (Taissa Farmiga), Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott) and Billie Dean Howard (Sarah Paulson), they finally meet Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange), who agrees to tell them what they want to know in exchange for an eternity free from Moira (Frances Conroy). The witches set Moira's spirit free and get the lowdown from Constance: Michael is pure evil and always has been, spending his childhood murdering babysitters before having an unholy growth spurt one night that turns him from a toddler to a teenager. After almost being murdered by her own grandson, Constance commits suicide at the house so she can forever be with her children. Finally, Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) deigns to appear with her glorious hair, revealing to the witches the truth: that Michael is the Antichrist. Before they leave, Madison proves she has a soft spot by getting Violet and Tate back together.
Now that they know what they're up against, Cordelia and the coven try to figure out how to take Michael down. Cordelia enlists reigning voodoo queen Dinah (Adina Porter) to summon Papa Legba, hoping to make a deal with the devil, but the price is too steep. Thankfully, he brings Nan along for the ride — hey girl, missed you! The witches execute the scheming warlocks who helped bring Michael into power, as well as the real Miriam Mead.
In a standout episode that sends up classic satanic horror films like The Omen, Michael wanders lost and alone, trying to figure out how to fulfill his destiny. He luckily stumbles across a satanic church led by Sandra Bernhard where one kind worshipper takes him in and leads him to some men she thinks can help: two Silicon Valley tech bros played by Evan Peters and Billy Eichner.
With the newly robotic Ms. Mead at his side and some help from Dinah, Michael decimates the coven. Cordelia, myrtle and mallory escape, joining up with Coco and Madison. Myrtle believes Mallory to be the next Supreme and thinks she's powerful enough to travel through time and save their sisters. The witches put Mallory's powers to the test by sending her back to the Bolshevik Revolution to save Anastasia, but it doesn't quite work out. Michael gathers the shadowy Cooperative — aka the Illuminati — for the most unholy Power Point presentation in history. It's time to end the world, ladies.