What is ‘strap burn’? Experts on how to avoid and treat skin irritation during sex

What is 'strap burn'?

“Strap burn,” or strap-on burn, is the chafing that comes from a “too-tight, ill-fitting or rough strap-on” harness, Good Vibes Sexologist Carol Queen tells Out.

“It can feel uncomfortable during use, but can also chafe the skin so that the discomfort continues even after the harness is removed,” she says.

The friction from the harness rubbing irritates the skin, leaving it raw and sore, but position and the weight of the dildo you’ve picked can also play a role. “It’s also common for the skin to get red, tender or irritated, and the strap burn often happens when the harness is too loosely or tightly fitted, when you’re creating so much friction, for example during intense strapping without enough lube, or when the skin is warm and sweaty,” says licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos

What can you do to avoid strap burn?

To avoid strap burn in the first place, don’t pick a strap-on that is ill-fitting, because chafing can happen if the harness is too tight or so loose that it moves too much against your skin. “Besides the fit, consider the material it's made from,” says Queen, who recommends finding a harness that doesn’t have any sharp or rough edges or rivets or buckles that could scratch you. She also says strap burn is more likely with plastic, faux leather, or latex harnesses, or underwear-style ones that have rough elastic bands.

“TBH, if I had a leather, faux leather, [or] plastic harness that was bothersome this way, I would stick mini-pads on myself before tightening it up,” she says. “But I'm a sex geek!”

But it’s not just the material the harness is made out of, or how it fits; sometimes it’s the way you’re having sex that causes the problem. “Using the strap-on without too much intense movement can help too, but of course that might not be the way you or your partner want to play,” Queen says. “Still, rough fucking will certainly be more likely to deliver strap burn than the slow and quiet kind.”

When you start to feel strap burn coming on, Roos says you’re better off taking a break and switching to making out, fingering, or oral. Then, when you’re feeling better, go slower and try a position that will put less pressure on the harness, like cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.

“If the skin starts to feel hot, sore or irritated, then it’s much better to take a pause than push through it,” Roos says. “So communicate how you're feeling to your partner, and if needed, then take a break from the penetration for a while until the skin feels better again.”

What should you do if you get strap burn? How can you treat it?

Your first line of defense is avoiding getting strap burn altogether, but once your skin is painful and irritated, it’s time to give it a rest and treat it.

“If the skin is broken, clean it well and use an antibacterial cream on it, and some light dressing, like gauze, if you think it needs that,” Queen says. “Otherwise wearing loose clothing over the area — including going commando, possibly — can help prevent it from getting irritated, and a soothing ointment with aloe or whatever works well for your skin can help it resolve quicker.”

Roos also recommends using a “bag of frozen peas in a towel” to soothe irritated skin and skipping the “kinds of sex that lead to high friction” until your skin is back to normal.

“However, if you have a wound that gets larger or deeper, if the area turns extremely red, swollen, painful or starts producing pus, and/or if you get a fever, then I recommend you to seek professional medical care and let them help you, this to avoid an infection,” she says.

How do you choose a strap-on that won't cause strap burn?

For those prone to strap burn, finding the perfect harness and dildo combination will help save your skin. Buying a strap-on might seem straightforward, but picking one that is comfortable, allows you to thrust without losing control, and doesn’t cause pain can be trickier than you’d think.

There are two main types of strap-ons: ones that are attached to your pelvis and hips with straps and underwear-style ones that tend to look like bikini or boxer briefs. What you choose will depend on fit, what feels comfortable against your skin, and what feels sexy and resonates with your gender expression.

“Well-made leather harnesses conform closely to the body and are also comfortable to all but those who are intolerant of snug-fitting garments and harnesses; choose a style that lets you tighten it close to the body — i.e. good d-rings on the straps, or lots of holes if it's the buckling kind,” Queens says. ‘A snug fit is best not only for comfort but also because it helps you control the dildo optimally.”

According to Roos, “a good fit is king” and matters more than how expensive it is, which is why she advises people to “go to a physical sex store and see if they have any models you can try on before buying.”

This will allow you to make sure it fits and touch the materials it’s made out of too. “As all bodies are different, there’s not one type of strap-on harness that works well for everyone, but generally, I recommend looking for a harness with lots of soft, wide and adjustable straps that distributes the pressure in a great way,” Roos says.

Once you’ve found a well-fitting and comfortable harness, it’s time to think about dildos. “If you use a large and heavy dildo with your harness, it will make the harness pull in ways it isn't designed to do and might make harness burn more likely,” Queen says, “but your mileage may also vary with different materials and styles.”