Why more LGBTQ+ couples are finding love through a matchmaker

“You really should go on this date,” his driver said.

The flat tire earlier in the afternoon had deflated more than rubber. It was also raining that night — in Palm Springs. The vibes seemed off.

Larry Thomas, 82, had acclimated to the idea of living out life alone after his partner passed away. But he’d already traveled the 275 miles from Scottsdale, Arizona, to SoCal for this dinner. And it was the night before Valentine’s Day. He felt hopeful.

The driver looked at the profile of his passenger’s date — Quinn Olson, 56 at the time and also a widow — and nudged him to follow through. The stormy weather ultimately made for romantic circumstances when the two men were the only ones to dine at the restaurant that evening. They had the place to themselves.

“Three and a half hours flew by,” Olson says over the phone. Six months later, the happy couple married.

Husbands Quinn Olson and Larry Thomascourtesy Larry Thomas

Larry met Quinn through an LGBTQ-specialized matchmaker — in this case, Anthony Canapi, AMFT, the co-owner of Best Man Matchmaking (@yourgaymatchmaker).

“I’d been working for a celebrity matchmaker in Beverly Hills, and found there was this gap in the market for gay men, especially people of color,” Canapi says.

As online fatigue settles in, many queer people are investing in offline experiences to find love. Some are hiring LGBTQ-focused matchmakers, an investment that typically runs in the thousands of dollars at minimum.

Others are buying tickets to locally curated events. Speed-dating nights bring hopeful romantics to local bars on normally slower weekday evenings. For enthusiastic wingpeople, LGBTQ-specific “date my friend” parties start with a lightning round of attendees pitching their besties (some involve PowerPoint presentations), followed by a reception and mingling.

Personal finance is about managing the resources you have to cultivate the life you want. That life might include a partner. And there are only so many DMs, swaps, and swipes the gays and theys can tolerate before hope begins to falter. Are matchmakers, dating coaches, and curated events the better avenue for queer singles to find love? And are they worth your money?

Out asked several industry experts to investigate.

A speed dating event hosted by Trevor Kuhn at So & So’s Piano Bar in Hell’s Kitchen.Trevor Kuhn

What You Pay For

Professional matchmaking is the most high-touch and premium of these services. And while matchmaking has been around for decades, LGBTQ-specialized matchmakers have only recently become mainstream.

The typical client is often a mid-to-senior career professional who doesn’t have time to go to a singles event, and is looking for something specific, says Lamont White, an Atlanta-based gay matchmaker of 11 years with credentials in psychology and counseling (@thegaydatingcoach). He says his company’s services focus on accountability, helping men show up as their authentic selves, and, when needed, candor.

“I had a guy, an IT specialist who worked from home. No hobbies, no interests, no friends,” White says. “He said, ‘Oh, I want to go on a date with somebody.’ I’m like, ‘Well, you’re literally a vegetable right now. You have no interests. I can’t put you in front of a man.’ Over the next several months, I made sure he had three new hobbies. He started making friends, not best friends, but people that he could call and socialize with.”

Coaching aside, the primary deliverable for a matchmaker is to prospect for potential dates on their client’s behalf — people who might not be hanging out at events or on apps, and who meet specific requirements. Prospecting also means painting a picture of possibility for the match, explains Trevor Kuhn, a New York-based dating coach and matchmaker for gay men (@lovedaddytrev).

“Maybe [the matches] have taken a break from actively looking, but are still open to the possibility if it comes along,” Kuhn says. “In this case, I present the possibility to them. And honestly, they are usually delighted to hear from me. If I find there is compatibility, I’m sending them on a free first date with a great guy — my client.”

In addition to done-for-you matchmaking, providers often also offer coaching services or facilitate curated events. The week of our conversation, Kuhn was getting ready to host a speed dating event the following Monday in Manhattan. Events create a curated experience at a much lower sticker price, and they double as a way for the host to elevate their profile as a connector.

But speed dating events can still be a roll of the dice, says Elise Braunschweiger, founder of Amity Matchmaking (@yourdatingcopilot). She notes that the people who hire matchmakers and the people who go to speed dating events or mixers tend to be different crowds.

“In matchmaking, there’s often a guarantee that you’re going to meet someone who meets all your preferences,” she says. “Speed dating doesn’t have to provide that same outcome.”

Rather than niching down to one specific gender identity or sexuality, Braunschweiger focuses instead on knowing her LGBTQ+ clients extremely well.

Susan Dost and Quincy Tessavernecourtesy Susan Dost

“The matchmaking industry was not built by or for gay people,” she says. “And to be honest, if you’re someone who is gender-nonconforming, or lesbian, or bi, or [assigned female at birth], you probably know that things labeled LGBTQ are probably cis gay men first, and then maybe the rest of us can join, and it will adapt from there.”

Braunschweiger matched one of her Los Angeles clients, Susan Dost, with Quincy Tessaverne by doing a pre-call with each of them, then setting up the date. Dost says in a separate phone call that the rigor of Braunschweiger’s onboarding process gave her confidence that the matchmaker knew her requirements, particularly regarding her kids.

“She basically gives you a blank canvas and says, ‘OK, tell me everything you want in a person, what your expectations are,’” Dost says of Braunschweiger. “For someone who’s busy and has two kids, it was nice to be able to go, “‘OK, this would be nice, that would be nice.’”

Tessaverne is also a parent, and the two women said the budding friendship between their children is a joy to behold.

“We’re going on trips with the kids, and planning our life for the future,” Tessaverne says. “It’s been so intentional.”

Open Mind, Open Heart

Resistance to vulnerability might also affect your dating mojo. Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Denver, says that most people on the dating scene fall into one of two buckets, each with their own respective challenges.

“There are the people who are new to dating, maybe because they’re recently out of a relationship or widowed, and then there are people who’ve been dating for a long time, who are feeling really burned out by the process,” he says.

For people getting back into the dating scene, there might be a phase of rediscovering who you are and what you want. Meanwhile, for fatigued daters, the challenge is to not spiral or conclude that there are no more fish in the sea.

Maybe queer dating doesn’t have to mean a gauntlet of selfies, microaggressions, and wasted time after all. Investing in love can be money well spent. Exhausted by swipe fatigue, an increasing segment of LGBTQ+ daters are taking their dollars offline instead.

White says business is booming.

“These dating apps are providing me with job security.”

Nick Wolny is Out magazine’s finance columnist and author of Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future, now in bookstores nationwide. nickwolny.com @nickwolny

Hunter Doohan on the cover of Out's July/August 2026 print issue

This article is part of OUT’s July-Aug 2026 print issue, on newsstands July 7. Support queer media and subscribe — or download the issue through Apple News+, Zinio, Nook, or PressReader starting June 18.