As New York's temperatures spike into the '90s today, we've spent more time than we'd like to admit sitting dead center in front of our air conditioner and occasionally moaning, "I've got a lust for life," like a mantra. Whether you were one of the little fuckers who listened to the leaked Lust for Life album or you've just discovered it today, it's time we acknowledge that it's Lana Del Rey's world and we're just living in it.
Related | Lana Del Rey Blasts the 'Little F*ckers' Who Leaked Her New Album
Over 16 tracks that move at the pace of the lazy river ride at your favorite childhood waterpark, Lana has lulled us into a soft sense of security once again. Sure, it sounds like every other Lana Del Rey album, but when the result is music that makes us want to smoke five joints and lay on a beach in the arms of our sugar daddy, we can't complain.
Speaking of sugar daddies and beaches, the usual themes of a classic Lana track appear throughout the album, and that's what we want to celebrate. Yes, we can praise the guest stars and gag over the Stevie Nicks-assisted track, "Beautiful People Beautiful Problems," but we're fully here for the lyrics that we'll be softly murmuring all summer long, drunk in an Uber after leaving our ex's apartment. Track by track, here are the most Lana Del Rey lyrics to guide you on your Lust for Life journey.
1. "I get ready, I get all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular," on "Love"
We're at least 99 percent certain that, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed, Lana is in a look. She's probably sprawled out on a chaise lounge, right now, with a glass of whiskey.
2. "My boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever (shadoop, shadoop). There's no more night, blue skies forever," on "Lust for Life"
Where was Lana's boyfriend? Probably on an oil rig or a business trip somewhere. Maybe on a family vacation with his wife. The point is he's back and she is doing the "shadoop shadoop" over it. Harvey Dent once said that the night is darkest just before the dawn, but it's blue skies forever now, baby.
3. "It took 13 beaches to find one empty but finally, it's mine. With dripping peaches, I'm camera ready almost all the time," on "13 Beaches"
First of all, the fact that it took her 13 tries to find a beach that wasn't packed full of people means she definitely wasn't in New Jersey. As for her dripping peaches being camera-ready, we know Lana hates paparazzi but loves to be photographed, so we'll be taking note for next time of the peaches she packs for the beach.
4. "My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme, and all of my peaches are ruined," on "Cherry"
Oh, right. So her peaches did not survive the dripping as she walked from beach to beach. Luckily for our girl, she's come prepared with some cherries, wine, rosemary, and thyme. No word yet on whether she's cooking a feast or is just going to lay stoic in the sand with them artfully placed around her.
5. "Lying on my bed, it's a bummer 'cause I didn't call when I got your number, but I liked you a lot," on "White Mustang"
Girl, we've all been there. Raise a glass of your tears high for the summer bummer you felt after drunkenly giving your number to that guy you swear was sort of attractive in low lighting. Now imagine Lana dressed up with nowhere to go reminiscing about the one who got away.
6. "White lies and black beaches and blood red sangrias. We traveled for weeks, just to escape your demons," on "Summer Bummer"
Is Lana a licensed bartender or does she just have excellent taste in alcoholic beverages? We want to pour a gallon of blood red sangria on ourselves while her album plays. What we don't want to do, though, is get into a situation where we have to travel for weeks to black beaches to escape the demons of our latest lover.
7. "This is my life, you by my side. Key lime and perfume and festivals," on "Groupie Love"
Lana is the queen of chill. Sure, there's the distressing romantic turbulence, but there's also the key lime, sensual spritzes of perfume, and music festivals. All we want is a man by our side with a serving of key lime (pie?) for good measure.
8. "I'm crying while I'm cummin'. Making love while I'm making good money. Sobbin' in my cup of coffee because I fell for another loser," on "In My Feelings"
When cultural archaeologists look back on the Lana Del Rey era, they will look to this song. This gem of a track is peak Lana, not only for the admission that she also cries while she cums, but also because she cries into her java. Celebrities! They're just like us!
9. "I guess I was in it, 'cause baby, for a minute it was Woodstock in my mind," on "Coachella - Woodstock in My Mind"
When Lana closes her eyes during a Father John Misty set at Coachella, she feels herself transported to Woodstock. Sure, she isn't old enough to know what it was like there, but it's the feeling that matters. No word on whether she also feels a wave of sexual euphoria during Father John Misty performances like we do, but here's to hoping we aren't alone.
10. "Even when I'm alone I'm not lonely. I hear the sweetest melodies (sweetest melodies) on the fire escapes of the city," on "God Bless America - And All Beautiful Women In It"
Fire escapes are admittedly a romantic feature of any apartment building until you actually sit on one and realize it's a sneeze away from disconnecting from the wall, but leave it to Lana to make us want to try. We can just imagine her sitting with a pack of cigarettes watching the world go by and she waits for her lover to arrive.
11. "Shake it up, throw your hands up and get loose. Cut a rug, lean into the fucking youth," on "When the World Was at War We Kept Dancing"
When Lana gets down, she really gets down. Though she does tend to use phrases for dancing that you'd pick up from watching Footloose on ABC Family, we're certain she's also be down to get lit in the club with her crew.
12. "We get so tired and we complain 'bout how it's hard to live. It's more than just a video game," on "Beautiful People, Beautiful Problems"
Sliding in that reference to her first big hit "Video Game," Lana unplugs and admits that life isn't as perfect as a video game. She's actually riding the struggle bus and complaining about life as much as we do. She's probably just doing it while in a convertible Mustang with a drink in her hand.
13. "Hey, what you doing?" Not a lot. Shaking and moving at my local spot," on "Tomorrow Never Came"
Much like our fantasy of Lana laying on a chaise lounge, we also have also vividly imagined walking into a '60s-themed ice cream parlor to find her shaking and moving at a jukebox, which we'd imagine is her "local spot."
14. "Life rocked me like Motley. Grabbed me by the ribbons in my hair," on "Heroine"
Lana is a hard rock kind of girl and we'd imagine she has had sexual fantasies about Motley Crue or at least had sex with one of the band members. Coincidentally, this probably also happened while she had ribbons in her hair, which is a very Lana hairstyle to rock while sleeping with rock stars.
15. "Lately, I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care. Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn," on "Change"
This is the lyrical equivalent of throwing everything off a desk in one swift motion and we can bet that that's something she has done at least once in her life. Though, it was probably followed by very passionate lovemaking with the CEO of a company.
16. "Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind. I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride," on "Get Free"
We've also felt like we had a war in our mind while riding this ride, but that's probably because they were a power bottom and we couldn't help but wonder if we'd turned our oven off before we left for their house. Don't worry, though, we've all wanted to get off but kept riding the ride because sometimes life isn't all we have a lust for.