The other day, I was having dinner with my best straight bro and his mom—lovely woman—but she had the cheek to mention that she didn't like The Golden Girls. I almost flipped the table right then and there. We then spent the next 30 minutes explaining to her why GG is one of the greatest shows of all time. Instead of recreating that conversation, here are 15 of the show's best moments.
Rose accidentally booked a vacation at a clothing optional resort, but little did the girls know that despite the lax attitude towards nudity, at the resort one always dresses for dinner.
14. Lebanese Tendencies
Episode: "Isn't It Romantic?" S2E5
When Dorothy's friend comes to visit, worldly and sophisticated Blanche doesn't understand why everyone's making such a fuss about her being a lesbian—until she realizes that Danny Thomas isn't, in fact, one.
13. "I Got You, Ma"
Episode: "An Illegitimate Concern" S5E18
Bea and Cher—from one mononymous gay icon to another.
12. Rose Will End Your Life
Episode: "Old Friends" S3E1
Much like Wu-Tang Clan, Rose Nylund ain't nothing to fuck with. Evil girl scout and future cool chick Jenny Lewis found that out the hard way.
11. The Case of the Libertine Belle
Episode: "The Case of the Libertine Belle" S7E2
The murder mystery weekend was a popular sitcom trope in the late-80s, early-90s and the Girls left their stamp on it, featuring one of Dorothy's greatest outbursts.
10. "Maestro, How About Something with a Little...OCTANE!"
Episode: "One for the Money" S3E2
In a flashback, thegirls recall a dance marathon and we not only get to see Dorothy's foxtrot but also what is clearly a stand-in for Rose cartwheeling all over the goddamn dancefloor.
9. Who's the Biggest Slut of All?
Episode: "Old Boyfriends" S7E13
When Rose's past promiscuity is brought to light, it upsets the balance of power. Slut power.
8. The Great Herring War
Episode: "The Way We Met" S1E25
During a flashback to the first time they met, Rose tells Dorothy and Blanche the first of many St. Olaf stories and they just can't contain themselves.
7. A Very Special Episode
Episode: "72 Hours" S5E19
The Golden Girls tackled a lot of social issues, and one of their finest special episodes involved Rose having to go for an HIV test after a mix-up at the hospital. When Rose laments that this is happening to her—"a goody two-shoes"—and not to someone like Blanche, Blanche reminds her that AIDS is not a punishment. Powerful stuff.
6. Broadway Bea
Episode: "Journey to the Center of Attention" S7E18
Bea Arthur liked to remind everyone—especially Betty White—that she has a goddamn Tony (for Mame, thank you) and she got a chance to shine, singing Irving Berlin's "What'll I Do?" Dorothy also managed to steal the spotlight from Blanche on her own turf no less, The Rusty Anchor.
5. Brotherly Love
Episode: "Sister of the Bride" S6E14
Blanche's gay brother Clayton made two appearances, first in season 4's "Scared Straight," where he comes out to Blanche and again two years later, when he tells his big sister he's getting married to a hot cop. Sophia, the octogenarian without a filter, is actually the one who convinces Blanche to support Clayton and Doug's pending nuptials.
4. "Miami Is Nice, So I'll Say It Thrice?"
Episode: "Big Daddy's Little Girl" S2E6
Dorothy and Rose enter a songwriting contest to come up with a song for their beloved hometown. It took them a few tries—just because thrice is a word doesn't mean it belongs in a song; neither does intrauterine. But who can argue with the final result? Meanwhile, why the Miami tourism board hasn't adopted "Miami, You've Got Style" as its official town song is beyond me.
3. Never Can Say Goodbye
Episode: "One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest" S7E26
In the series finale, Dorothy says goodbye to the girls, but she can't help but come back not once, but twice. She never did care for thrice, however, and once Blanche, Rose, and Sophia realize she's not coming back, they hug and perhaps start scheming to take over an ill-fated hotel with Don Cheadle.
2. The Sky Is Falling!
Episode: "Henny Pennny — Straight, No Chaser" S6E26
If you ever wondered who was the Diana Ross among The Golden Girls...
1. "Gee, Lady, Just Get Out of Prison?"
Episode: "Valentine's Day" S4E15
So much of this show's appeal comes from Dorothy yelling at the other girls, so there's nothing more appealing—or oddly satisfying—than Bea Arthur exasperatingly shouting "CONDOMS!" in a crowded drugstore.