Ru and her grand dames made a grand entrance, standing in silhouette with trumpets blaring like they had just conquered Rome. And in her first of many, many shady moments, Ru called in Bianca Del Rio's stand-in--
Though Acid Betty's Nancy Grace was a disgrace to Snatch Game, the genuine article--lit from within, without, and on all sides--thought she did great. But who's really going to trust Nancy Grace's opinion?
My fears of Kim Chi's performance style, or lack thereof, were more or less alleviated on "Fat, Femme and Asian," though just when I thought she was going to stand around all day while her backup dancers did the heavy lifting--also known as The Rihanna--Kim actually busted out some dance moves.
And the audience went wild. Mostly because she didn't fall over, but we were all proud of her nonetheless.
5. The Ru & Bob Comedy Hour
Ru and Bob really should take their shtick on the road as it would be a shame to waste all this good banter.
4. Kim Chi Shade
Kim Chi seemed so innocent and sweet from day one, but she also warned you, "Donut come for me." And that's because she's a shady bitch who will cut you soon as look at you. And to that I say, god bless. When asked who among the Pit Crew she would sleep with, Kim gagged Ru yet again with shade so dark it damn near blinded an audience member. Poor thing--he'll never be able to read again.
3. Carol Fucking Channing
The finale was full of great guest stars (and I'm telling you: Jennifer Holliday) but none trumped 95-year-old national treasure and thoroughly modern rassssssshhhhpberry Carol Channing. The perennial Broadway baby surprised Bob with a special message offering praise for her "colorful" impersonation. She's 95 and everything, so I'm going to leave that alone.
2. Violet COMES THROUGH
If Violet Chachki knows how to do anything, it's murder a look. So the FBI, the CIA, and Mariska Hargitay were all called in once she stepped out in this gag of a gown, leaving a young up and coming queen in the audience clutching her nonexistent pearls.
1. Bob's Lip-Sync
Giving you banjee girl realness and performing the hell out of the best original song of the night, "I Don't Like to Show Off," Bob started off the show right and tight, making it clear that she ought to be the winner as soon as she lived out my personal dream of straddling Lucian Piane during a flawless lip-sync. Purse first, last, and forever.
And with that, kids, it's been a great season. Sure, it started out a little underwhelming, but it finished strong. If you're already feeling nostalgic, or if you just missed an episode or two, check out the previous GIF-cap Xtravaganzas here.