Not gonna lie to ya, I was a little underwhelmed with the premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race season eight. Maybe it's because I've been down with the RPDR since day one when it was filmed in a studio apartment with cameras and lenses left over from the last days of Dynasty.
While all the ingredients were there--a few sickening queens, some great runway looks, that patented Ru schtick--something felt a little off. Maybe it's because this was the 100th episode and I expected everything to be turned up to, well, 100. And yet, here we are eight seasons deep and girls are still coming in with no sewing experience.
Meanwhile, Nicole Richie needs to be a permanent judge on the panel. Without further ado, let's get into these queens, let's get into these looks, let's get into these reads for episode 801: "Keepin' It 100."
Best Moment: Naomi Smalls, Model Assassin
The eight feet of legs known as Naomi Smalls came ready to slay all the gurls during the mini-challenge, a class photo with past winners of Drag Race (except Bianca).
Not even withering shade from last season's winner Violet Chachki could damper Naomi's posing blitzkrieg.
Worst Moment: Lip Sync for Your Lifeless
What happened, Naysha Lopez and Laila McQueen? Naysha, a seasoned pageant queen, went tuck to tuck against Laila, who promised to bring out every "quasi-gimmick" she had.
Laila had me fooled for a second that she was going to do a jump-split then she apparently decided against it mid-air. Either way, it was enough to send Naysha and her clunky clapping home.
Front-Runners: A Kim, a Bob and a Betty
Kim Chi's beat face makes me believe in a better world while Bob the Drag Queen is giving you jokes for days. And Acid Betty, clearly the most polished queen, is also the cuntiest, which can wear thin very quickly.
Though the video girl in me can't help but forgive anyone who makes it rain.
Best Read: A Clockwork Lacefront
Thank god someone showed up to work, and as usual it was Michele Visage--putting in overtime. Poor Naomi, so flaw-free, yet so flawed. After having the nerve to show up in the same Cher '77 wig as Michelle, La Visage was quick to tell her what time it was: about a quarter past get-it-together.
Departing Thoughts: "CAMEROOOOOOOOOOOON"
The catwalk down the "anals" of Drag Race herstory was a great maxi-challenge and a welcome opportunity to see some of the beloved forequeens from season's past. Also, who knew Robbie Turner and I had the same bedtime story growing up?