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R.I.P.: The Jennifer Lopez - Mariah Carey 'Feud'

i don't know her

Mariah v. J. Lo: A Shadestory 

As you may know, Mariah Carey is among the shadiest human beings of all time.

mariah carey shade gif

Top five, easy. She's been wearing custom Ray Bans since the early-90s so she's more or less forgotten what sunlight is, let alone what it looks like.

mariah carey shades gif

The only contemporary she ever laid eyes on was Whitney, may she rest, and together they were blind to the world--

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As for the younger kids trying to come for the throne, Mimi just lets Jesus take the wheel because she's asleep behind it.

mariah carey ariana grande shade gif

One of Carey's sacrificial lambs over the years has been multi-hyphenate ageless wonder Jennifer Lopez, who was really just minding her business when the internet happened.


Since then, there's been a noticeable side-eye whenever the two divas are in the same room.

jlo mariah shade gif

Andy Cohen, doing God's work, decided to get to the heart of the matter by asking J to the L-O what all the shade's about on last night's Watch What Happens Live during a spirited game of "Plead the Fifth."

jlo watch what happens live

Nevermind that Andy had already tried to get to the heart of the matter two years ago when La Lopez was on WWHL and passed this non-committal statement down from on high:

I know from back in the day, I've read things that she's said about me that were not the greatest, but we have never met. Like, we don't know each other. I think it's kind of from word of mouth of things that have happened in the past that I'm not really aware of.

And then last year, Mimi vaguely acknowledged the head shake GIF'd round the world in an interview with The Cut:

I really wasn't trying to be funny. I was just being honest and everybody's kind of blowing it out of proportion...

Still, Andy wanted to know why J. Lo was texting during Mariah's performance at the 2015 Billboard Music Awards, and why she's never been to Mariah's show in Vegas. Turns out the answer to both is Jennifer Lopez is a grown ass woman and she has things to do.

And of course Mariah Carey doesn't know Jennifer Lopez, or of Jennifer Lopez--she's Mariah Carey. She doesn't need to know anything except what note to hit and who's writing the check.

Related | This Is What Happens When You Ask Mariah Carey to Sing With You on the Spot

So let's call this so-called feud a day. And turn our attentions to a diva feud that is very real: Elton John and Janet Jackson. Because Elton John knows who Janet Jackson is. And he came for her. Let the Great Diva War of 2016 commence!

Check out J. Lo clearing the air with Andy on last night's Watch What Happens Live:

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