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The Person Tasked With Finding Positive News Stories About Trump Finally Quit

Trump

There are a lot of tough jobs out there, but none is more emotionally and physically draining than the role of the White House’s director of rapid response, which is responsible for finding and distributing positive news stories about the president. We know that any job in the White House is tough if you’re not a white supremacist, but this one was particularly draining, because our president is literally the most unpopular president in modern history, which probably explains why Andy Hemming quit this week, according to Politico.   

Related | Today's Disastrous Press Conference Confirms Trump's Racist Agenda

In the role, Hemming worked from 5:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. each weekday scouring the media for some semblance of a positive story about the president. When he gathered his scraps, he’d then send them out to 1000 “influencers” who then spread it in their networks. No, not the Instagram kind of influencer who hosts at clubs and is cripplingly lonely; these influencers were reporters and TV pundits.

Despite paying $89,000 a year, the job proved to be too much for Hemming, who now plans to take much-needed vacation. If you were wondering, the decision was allegedly “mutually agreed upon” and, according to White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, he now has more time to “help promote the president’s agenda on the outside.” Girl, please.  

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