Dancing with the Stars has glitter and sequins and spandex and makeup and Bruno -- it's Vegas live every week, but this week they butched it up for their results show. First off, the special musical guest was Melissa Etheridge, whose new album, Fearless Love, also debuted this week (well-played, Melissa). Now, I chuckled a little at first, though I do have a soft spot for the earnest rock-and-roll lesbian, her leather pants and her albums Brave & Crazy and Yes I Am helped a lot with getting through high school and college, and I know I'm not alone with that. The new song itself didn't grab me per se, but the performance itself reminded me that damn, that girl has a set of pipes. She came back later in the night to perform her classic "Come To My Window":
Usually the musical guest is just there to provide a song for the professional dancers to show off some creative play, but in both performances, Melissa got just as much camera time, if not more. Go ABC producers for putting her front and center. I wanted to pull out my acoustic guitar to play along.
Oh yes, the dancing. Chad Ochocinco really stepped his game up this week, though I really wish he would stop making fake passes to Cheryl, who clearly does not want to be more than dance partners with him. When they announced the couple was safe from elimination last night, he picked her up and attempted to plant a big kiss, but she very clearly rejected him and mouthed something along the lines of "don't do that."
Evan danced the cheesiest un-samba in the world and was rightly penalized by the judge's scores and possibly viewer votes as well -- he was in the bottom three this week. But the biggest fall from grace was Jake the Bachelor, who just outright stumbled through his dance, fell to the bottom of the leaderboard, and then promptly got booted from the show the next night from lack of votes. When his elimination was announced, he cried. And told his dance partner Chelsea that he loved her. But not like that -- it's been clear there's no sexual chemistry between the two, he just really did appreciate her that much and was moved to tears from his experience on the show. I love a man who expresses his feelings. But I love more that TEAM NIECY lives to see another week of dancing.
-- A. RAYMOND JOHNSON