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Elton John's soon-to-be classic Pride and Predator

Elton John's soon-to-be classic Pride and Predator

Photo: Getty Images

Some things just have to be said like they are. So, with a deep breath, here's what the BBC reported this morning: "Sir Elton John is to make a sci-fi horror film where aliens wreak havoc on a Jane Austen-style period drama." Right ... Elton John + "Pride and Prejudice" + "Predator" = "Pride and Predator." That really IS the name Elton's movie company has given the planned box-office smash hit (clearly, the idea is genius and can gross no less than $300 million). REALLY -- it is!

Here's the producer and John's partner, David Furnish -- who thanks to the following quote may just be the funniest (or most delusional?) man alive -- explaining the inexplicable: "It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre." Ace short-film director Will Clark ("The Amazing Trousers") will direct. No cast has been announced, but rumors have it the aliens will be tiny rotund pink blobs with alarming yellow hair and purple eye-glasses. (Only the last 19 words are made up.)

-- DG

> Back to the Slasher: Friday the 13th returns!

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Noah Michelson